


180 seconds

by Tshirtliberator



Category: McLennon - Fandom, The Beatles (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Drug Use, Drugs, Graphic Depictions of Illness, M/M, McLennon, Semi-Public Sex, Violence, gay shit, idk - Freeform, just full on butt stuff, like prison kinda?, man who knows this was originally on wattpad, new york in the 70's, so be prepared, you know their bar isnt that high
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-29 10:43:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 36,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17202008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tshirtliberator/pseuds/Tshirtliberator
Summary: John never thought he'd end up here, where ever here was. He didn't know how he got there he just knew he was suffering the consequences of his actions, Paul didn't deserve what he'd got, he could have done better then John---Basically a prison/ 70's AU....ish-----





	1. Chapter 1

a lot of this wont be 100% accurate to real events that happened, all of this takes place in america, the dates wont be true to the source material so sorry if things like that bug you. Of course i own very little of the charterers, besides the few I added

Non of this actually happened and no disrespect is intended to any of the real people in this story.


	2. Chapter 2

It was cold, late January was well known for its chill. Suffocating Silence and cold going hand in hand like Julia Child and cooking. No warmth dared to enter the suffocating darkness that had plagued the damp mildew reeking stone cell. The only light was from a small desk lamp down the hallway encasing only the immediate surrounding of the office space in light. The dark walls enclosing a frail thin figure, shivers raking through the skeletal figures body laid atop of a old cot pushed into the corner of the rectangular room.

Moth eaten blankets strewn on the cement floor,several colorful patches added to help keep the old ratty things together making them look decades old. A half eaten maggot infested meal sat on the floor far away from the young lithe shaking man, a few pieces of stale bread and flavorless overcooked pasta residing on the plate. Small gasps emitting from the trembling frame, every once in a while a small moan or incoherent muttering would come from the unconscious youthful man, his distressed sounds echoing around the deathly silent room.

"Hey wake up"

The frail man jumped from his restless slumber as a old upper class British sounding voice verbally shook him.

The man slowly turned from his laying position to look at the tired officer standing outside of his cell,

"What?" the man winced at the sound of his nasally voice, barely audible, cracking in pain

"Wake up, your were havin' a nightmare or something" the old gentle British voice soothed.

The man winced as a blinding light from a flashlight was shone in his face, he brought a trembling hand to his face the shield his sore eyes . Everything was sore

"What time is it?" he croaked.

The officer carefully checked is watch squinting trying to see the small numbers on the face of the watch briefly complaining under his breath about losing his once youthful eyesight.

"Bout 2:30, little early to be waking up John" still shining a strong beam of light on his face

John ....right that was his name, silently testing it on his tongue, it felt odd but familiar. Like seeing an old family member that's been weathered by time, their once youthful face aged by time and the light no longer shining in their eyes. Like a loved ones been lost, breaking their hearts and loosing their belonging in the world.

Why he didn't remember his name, John couldn't tell you. Memories seemed to fill his head, not quite in the right order, fragmented pieces not fitting in place. His head hurt bad, It was a mess up there nothing making sense like thirty puzzle sets trying to be fit together. Oddly The memories from his childhood being the most clear, looking up to his mother pulling on her dress asking her why the bunny was late in "Alice in Wonderland", her shining silky red hair falling down her shoulders, and a bright smile painting her face. She would bend down to his level and tell him that the bunny just lost track of time and then go through the synopsis each chapter. Even after going through the book multiple times, John still did not fully comprehend it until his adolescence, after all how would a small child comprehend the works of Lewis Carroll.

That was by far his favorite book by the time he reached middle school, his mother would read it to him all the time as a child, the bright imagery always attracted his naive mind making him long for a land far, far away so the could go with Alice on her adventures. His favorite was the Cheshire Cat, he'd spend hours in front of the grimy mirror in his bedroom trying to grin as big as the cat after hearing the saying if you make a odd face for too long it would stay there forever.

He'd run around school demanding the other kids play "Alice in Wonderland" with him, he'd always had an air of authority in him making it easy for him to convince the others to do what he wanted. His favorite part of playing the game with them was making his classmates go the wrong path for in the book Alice asked the Cheshire Cat which way to go, after all what fun was sticking to source material when you could mess with people.

The Teacher of course didn't like that very much, especially when he'd stand up on his desk in morning prayer claiming if god existed he'd have made John a disappearing cat instead of a loudmouthed scoundrel. He'd been sent to the head teachers office many a times for that, he quickly learned mouthing off about god wasn't his best idea.

"John hello anyone in there?' the officer said waving his hands bringing John back to the land of the living, his long face looking back up, just then realizing he was still in a conversation and had stopped listening.

"Water, please" he asked in a pleasing desperate, voice.

The other older man gave a exasperated sigh and put down the flashlight, slowly shaking his head as he walked off to get him a cup of water a small smile tracing his thin aged lips. When he returned he gave John a small plastic cup of water, it wasn't perfectly clear mind you, little bits of dirt cluttering the surface contaminating it.

Gently reaching through the iron rusted bars that separated the two, the older man gave John the cup. He gulped it down like a dying man in the desert slowly feeling the life drain from his dehydrated body. The warm liquid felt reliving going down his raw throat, it would have been preferable if it had been cold but John didn't take things for granted. That wasn't was his beloved mother had taught him all those years ago.

He leaned back against the cool grey cement wall, the coolness felt good against his back, giving him release from the sweat caking his grimy pale skin. The rough surface scratching through his flimsy cotton button up shirt, the once light green was now stained with dust, sweat and grime, the shirt looking quit big on John's small frame, like a child wearing their fathers shirt.

John didn't have any recent memories of being this small, as a teenager he'd been quite solidly built, by all means he wasn't athletic but not out of shape, he'd rather stay inside drawings his cartoons or promiscuous sketches. They'd made the young boy quite popular with the boys in his grade, after all he could draw nude women, what more would teenage boys want. It didn't go down well with his teachers, the students often being told in lessons pornography would lead to sodomy, sodomy would then lead to homosexuality which in turn would lead to a lengthy jail time and finally Hell. His school district was very strictly religious at the time, being that it was before Madelyn Murray O'hair had deemed it unconstitutional for children to be forced to read the bible in public school. John personally agreed with her, he had always believed in the right to choose.

John let his almond shaped eyes close in contempt as he felt the coldness of the wall soothe his hot clammy back, feeling the roughness of the wall poke his aching body, the cot being an obvious problem for his back.

The older man was still standing at the bars when he cleared his throat.

" uh.. i'll need tha' cup back. Can't ave' you with any potential hazards to uh, ya know, hurt yourself with."

The officer was kind, had a general vibe peaceful tranquility. Like an old librarian sitting behind his desk offering you words of wisdom or the best reads in the library's extensive collection. Gathering the town's children for story time telling them the many works of Ernest Hemingway or fun facts about Mark Twain's classic "Huckleberry Finn."

He looked to be in his late fifties but aged from long and hard days of honest work, sagging jowls underneath his big round eyes. His temples and sideboards having gone grey with stress, his jet black hair streaked with grey. This man definitely didn't deserve to be in such a drab place at 2:30 am John rightfully decided.

John looked to his lap where he held the eggshell white plastic cup, He carefully got up on unsteady bare feet and passed the cup into the officers waiting hands, gently thanking him. He was tired, so so tired. He didn't think he'd been getting much sleep lately, his limbs feeling like they were made of lead dragging him down into the deep murky depths of the ocean.

It was probably the nightmares plaguing his dreams, whenever he woke though he couldn't remember what the nightmares were about. It was always something different. Nothing fitting together quite right, but the always awoke caked in sweat, his heart feeling like it was being squeezed by a hand passing through his chest.

"I'm gonna turn in now alright, you need to get some sleep. I've been getting complaints from the others about your cries at night, its the end of the road for them might as well let them get some shut eye" the officer said in a solemn voice

"Others?' John replied curiously, all he knew was he was in a cell, he had no knowledge of other people being where he was....wherever that was.

The Man sighed and brought a liver spotted hand to the bridge of his nose gently squeezing, mentally preparing himself for what was to come.

"Yes John, we've had this conversation many times before. The other inmates. Don't you remember?"

John stayed silent

"You really don't remember? bless your soul lad, i'm sorry John.... Yer on death row"


	3. Chapter 3

Once again the coldness seeped into the room, it was deathly silent, nothing more being said after the old man's words. John had long since been left alone, the officer retiring to his bed for some well deserved rest.

The prison John was in required a officer present at all times, especially in the cell block he was in requiring twenty four hour care to insure no inmate got to out of hand, considering how they were all just waiting for the end.

Deacon, the old guard usually had the shift of 11:00 pm to 9:00 am, they weren't supposed to sleep but no one really enforced that rule, after all deacon was a generally kind man and was at the drab places for 10 hour shifts so no one could really blame him for sleeping during the nights.

John however just sat there staring blankly into the darkness after Deacon had left him, it had all came crashing down on him. A sense of dread seeping into his mind, deja vu being a constant reminder during this time.

He'd Had that conversation before, he was almost certain to that knowledge. That's right when he got here, the police dragging him in, metal cuffs strangling his hands and feet. It was snowing when he'd been brought, a man sat in front of him on the armored bus reading the paper. He wasn't a guard or anything he'd been wearing a freshly pressed crisp blue suit, slick raven hair combed neatly onto one side of his head not a strand of the greasy hair falling out of place. The man was in front of john put separating the man from John was a wire gate on the inside to prevent any unfavorable people from gaining access to the front of the bus. There was several other men on the bus with him. They were very rowdy they'd come from the slums of New York the places where gangs ran freely, murder, thievery and sexual assault ran rampant.

John stood out like a sore thumb, a couple pounds underweight. Clean shaven, very quiet as he read the paper over the man's shoulder. The only things that you would ever connect John and these rowdy men together were the chains they all shared and the small tremors that raked through the young man's body.

The bus had slowly come to a halt as it moved through the gates of the walls, the bus suddenly became deathly silent as the officer at the front stood up and shouted.

"Alright fuckers off the bus, single file, no talkin"

The men were filed off the bus, the man in a suit being ushered off too, albeit much more hospitable. A few officers greeted him and lead him away from the inmates, telling him how they were sorry he had to ride in with the rats.

Everyone were lead into the main building into a large room where every other man but John were striped and given prison garbs, John meanwhile was taken away from the others. He was slowly making his way, it was hard considering the chains were still enclosed around his wrists and ankles. The two guards ahead of him not slowing down causing him to stumble a few times while leading him to the east wing. The East wing wasn't very big, a long hallway that at one end had a left turn and a right turn, both leading into a few more cells, they weren't all filled however. They were never used because the guards desk was all the way on the other end of the "T" shaped hallway. They couldn't see the inmates cell without having to walk all the way down there, Is was sheer laziness really.

There was about eight cells on each side of the main hallway they used, as John walked by he could count maybe twelve of the cells being in use. The people inside looking somber and lifeless, a few heavy heads looked up at John as he walked by, some smirking as the small tremors raked his body, it not use to being without a drug in it for this long. The side effects of withdrawal being quite an easy illness to spot for most of the inmates.

By this time it was late, the guards put him in the last cell to the left and left him to do as he pleased, not however before and older gentleman walked over on shaked legs, and in a gentle voice said

"Ello there son, im Deacon"

A small gentle smile lacing his worn face.

"You know why your here right?''

"I'm here to die" john's soft voice broke out,

" yes quite so lad, now I read your record seemed to be you have yourself a bit of a drug problem don't ya?"

A hint of disapproval could be made out in his thick British accent. John stayed silent to let him continue

" Now because of the withdrawal and trauma you faced recently you may have some trouble remembering things".

He paused for a moment to inspect if John was still coherent, then continued

" I've seen many people from all walks of life come through here, more than a handful have had memory problems, Alright?"

John nodded in understanding before thanking him. That was his first day here, he was glad he could at the very least remember something very recent. The rest that started to come back though didn't help him at all.

Places mostly is what was coming back, the old Irish catholic church he'd hang around in his early adulthood before he left to the city. The old priest giving shelter the the poor and donations to those who needed it. Far cry from the dark dingy city in the East coast, infested with pickpockets, rats, drugs,homeless that John had called home for his twenties. But somehow that didn't matter, when John relocated to New York it was different somehow. The peace and the love enveloping the community. Acid, LSD and so much more, the drugs poisonous kisses seducing so many, John included, after all it was the sixties and seventies .

He didn't understand how he got here. What had happened?,he'd recently recalled his drug problem but there's no legally binding way that someone could be sentenced to the death penalty for a mere drug habit.

His mother will be devastated when she hears the news, heartbroken,

John stopped his train of thought, where was his mother now, he started to hyperventilate. There was too much he couldn't see or visualize, it was like a large wall enclosed his thoughts, disabling his mind. He was alone and scared. Not a unfamiliar feeling for him. more started coming back to him, He'd been alone before, he left while shed withered away like a lone orchid in a abandoned garden, Her bright smile soon dying out. He received the news two months after settling into his studio flat in the city. Shed died in her sleep, peacefully shed been fighting for so long, leukemia destroying the insides of her weak body.

She raised him, was there for him when he was growing up. Tears started to fall from his almond eyes, he brought a shaking hand to his mouth to keep the sobs in. His mother, Julia had been an incredibly strong woman, a single mother through the fifties, outspoken too. she taught John about his self worth and to believe in himself, saying things like"this too shall pass" when times were tough.

God bless her soul, he hoped she was happy wherever she ended up. John found he liked to think she ended up somewhere peaceful, like some island in the middle of the sky, closed of from time. She'd like that, she was a pilot, she loved being in the clouds being so high up, john got to go with her sometimes, they'd flown to costa rica together one time, when they landed there she took time off, rented a boat and took John sailing. For the longest time they'd only had each other, She would always say in her cheery sing song voice that family always came first.

She worked hard, so hard it probably would have killed her if it wasn't for the leukemia. "Nothing in this life was free" she would say and she believed it because it was true, The long nights of studying and soul crushing shifts as a cashier at the supermarket were evidence enough for John. The manager at the place she worked while in night school always called her 'toots', he was disgusting pig.

people were always coming and going at that time, many business owners favoring the cheap labor that came with the surplice of immigrants caused by the ongoing war. His mother was only able to keep her job because the manager liked how she looked in the mini skirt "uniform" . There were plenty of women working there, the manager was a creep like that, but a lot of people were like that and still are.

Most working class men were at war across the sea so the woman made up a majority of the work force and started to enter mostly male dominated professions. John could vividly remember the women from his mother's first job, not their faces or names but their presence how'd they make him feel. They were all so big, scaring the small child, they'd then break off into the kitchen to talk of their men and how much they missed them, John couldn't have been older than two or three.

By the time Julia had started writing her first essays for her pilot license, she'd gotten pregnant but that still didn't deter her from working hard to get what she wanted in life. When she gave birth, John's dad took care of him during the days until he was old enough for a babysitter.

John didn't really know his father, the only contact he'd have with the man was in his early childhood. His dad to put it lightly, was a bum, he had a dead end job that wasn't going to get him anywhere in life, somehow though he'd not been drafted for the war yet like so many around him, his father had no interest in killing bordering on pacifism.

His dad was a kind man, he wasn't very serious, the bad boy in school was how his mom described him. Like the leather clad gang members you'd see in the Marlon Brando pictures as a kid. Chain smoking cigarettes and nicking buddy holly records from the shops, going out early and staying out late to drink and party with his friends.

Apparently Julia and dad had gone out on a date by the end of the second week of knowing each other, Johns grandfather hated dad. Dad being the wise man he was picked up his mom on their first date on a stolen motorcycle. they were thick as thieves, some use to say they were like Bonnie and Clyde. Alfred Lennon was one of a kind, couldn't get him to do jack shit if he didn't want too.

Julia always said find someone that kept you young, she'd said find someone that drives you absolutely insane someone that you wish you could strangle if you could get away with it. She'd say you really love them when you want to kill them because hate and anger are such strong and potent emotions, so why waste them on someone you don't like.

His dad would often but him and his shoulders when They'd be walking around town. All it would take would John would raise his chubby short arms at his dad and he would immediately scoop the small child up and ruffle his messy hair, he'd then sling his son onto his shoulders so John could see down the streets farther. They were a complicated family in wasn't always good but it was a good place to be.

Though Sometimes when John was young he'd wake up in the middle of the night to his parents screaming at each other (or more so mom screaming at Alfred) but one night is was worse than normal. He could hear his mother crying in the kitchen and his dads soft gentle tone try to comfort her to no avail, he fat sobs echoing in the kitchen while they stood side by side mom washing dishes, dad drying them.

Two weeks later dad was gone, John had sat on the bed watching him pack pictures and clothes as a big green truck with a tarp on the back came to pick him up. John and Julia stood on the front steps while he watched the strange army men take daddy away. His mother had stooped down and picked up John and cradled the toddler in her arms while placing a gentle kiss one her sons temple. He could see his dad sit with other men while he waved at his family, the truck taking him away down the empty street.

Looking back on it John now realized where dad went, dad and Julia had never been married so on paper all it said was Alfred Lennon was a single man who had fathered a bastard child, this making him dispensable. He'd been drafted across the see, the army men taking him away from home to fight the bad men.

Six months later John had been playing outside with his cat named Ferret on the steps when a long black car pulled up in front of the small house its shiny exterior drawing the attention of the small boy and a few around. It was a sunny day many of the neighborhood children running about playing kick the can, cars slowly cruising down the street. Across the street there was a mother shushing her daughter when she pointed to the black car, quietly dragging her daughter behind as she looked back at the small family home the car had pulled up in front of. 

Two somber looking men enveloped in dark clean pressed suits and felt hats atop their heads got out of the car and slowly walked up the old creaky wooden steps. One of the two knocked on the weathered mahogany door, John from his sitting position on the steps looked up curiously at the two. They looked quite odd to him their suits were not normal they actually looked kind of like fancy army men except sadder. His mother answered the door, the smile that had previously been on her face had fallen off,she then let them in, she glanced down at the small child and sternly told him to keep playing outside, so John did.

Not ten minutes later the same clean cut gentlemen Walked outside lightley shutting the old wood door, one of them bent down to the small child's eye level and in a southern drawl, hand on shoulder told the heartbreaking news

"Son, your dads not coming home"

The man then stood up and with his companion left to their car, the young toddler carefully got into his short stubby legs and stood on his tippy toes, reached up to the golden door knob. Inside there was his mother laying crumpled on the stairs heavy tears streaming down her face. It was the first any only time john and ever see her cry. She looked up at her precious child and opened her arms beckoning him into them he carefully hobbled over to her and into her familier arms.

"Where's dad?"

John muttered into his mother neck.

"He's gone with Alice to help her out a bit, he'll be away for a while alright, but I promise he'll be back. He'll bring back some gifts for you, maybe a rose from the duchess garden?"

His mother hastily explained, she sounded weak, she sounded like the women who follow the coffins in the funerals down by the church.

It wasn't until John was eight that he realized where his father had went, him and his classmates had been learning about the dark clothed men in school and he quickly realized who they were, him and Julia had never talked about where dad went again, John just figured it would be easier on her.

Dad didn't come home, then that's when single motherhood had hit hard. Mortgage payments, loans and debt had started to pile up. During that short periods of poverty his mother had started to work longer and harder hours. However like she said hard work paid off, when his mother graduated and got her pilots licence it started to get better, not immediately, no one really wanted a woman commercial airline pilot. But after six months of looking for a job offer she got a call back. John got to go with her sometimes, thus making him miss a lot of school but it was okay, John didn't like school anyways. They'd got to go to France, California, Brazil, and Scotland, He was eleven when they flew to Scotland , the rolling hills and vast lakes surrounding the tall stone castles that littered the land.

He missed his mother, she didn't deserve what she got. His dad didn't either. They were both too young , and now here's John following in his parents footsteps, barley thirty-two and his life was already almost over.

John slowly laid his head down on the thin itchy pillow burying his wet face into the pillow wrapping the moth bitten rags he called blankets around his shivering frame. letting his mind stop. Finally letting himself relax and calm down falling into a dreamless restless nightmare infested slumber once again.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey! Hey wake up dickhead"

John slowly stirred, groggily whipping away at his eyes little pieces of eye booger caking he corners, his arms and legs feeling like a million times heavier than actually being, laying still for a moment before the voice started up again.

"Hey, John wakey wakey"

Not fully comprehending what was happening, he turned onto his aching back looking at the blurry ceiling for a moment or two, giving a lengthy yawn, he got up on his elbows expecting to see someone standing at his cell door peering in. No one was there, curiously he got up to see if he could peer down the hallway now that it was day visibility could come naturally. Getting up to the iron bars in bare feet, gripping them with his calloused boney hands, letting his mind clear up for a couple more seconds; his rough sleep infest voice replying.

"Alrigh' alright m'up, ?"

" its George remember? Oh wait your a fuckin druggie, Ritchie said you were having troubles remembering stuff"

The bothersome tone said, it sounded adjacent to John cell; maybe three or four down the right, not finding the name Ritchy familiar he asked what he found a important question.

"Who tha' hell's Ritchie?"

"You don't remember me?, shit man you really are in a bad place"A second more soft voice spoke up from the same direction. " but no one really calls me that, back home they called me Ringo"

"Am I supposed to remember you?'' John continued wincing after realizing how bitchy that come off deciding to go a bit more relaxed"can you help jog my memory a bit?"

"Uh ya we talked shortly after you got here, we bothered George about the donuts thing"

Ringo softly spoke in a humble rumble glad to have a chance to embarrass his loudmouthed friend.

"Hey screw you, it was one time!"'' George yelled back defensively

"Ya well im not the one who got intimate with a ' donut" Ringo stopped for a moment to let a few small chuckles out.

"I mean come on, John have you ever heard of anyone double glazing a donut"

"Uhh no, not that I can think of," John still was tired from the rough sleep, withdrawal hitting hard, he faintly recalled someone saying withdrawal usually lasted about a week, then after that its fighting the temptations. Just his luck near the end of his life and all he gets is the ordeal of cold turkey.

"Well good cause its really nasty, god damn George no wonder your in here." Ringo playfully shot out

"You know what your being kind of a jerk today,it's getting me down man" George snapped back

Ringo didn't reply after that, it was quite then for a short while, the sound of someone at the guards desk typing away at a typewriter. Then a curious harmless thought entered his mind how did Ringo know about his drug problem, it's not like John went around shouting it at the top of his lungs

"Hey Ringo, how'd you know about the drug thing?"

"Heard you and Deacon talkin 'bout it this morning" he casually remarked back

"Why were you awake at that time?" John questioned back. He heard a small amount of shuffling before reply came

"The way I look at is why sleep now, you spent half your life sleeping, i've been a sleep long enough" he paused a moment"If i'm gonna be honest, we're all here for one thing and one thing only, we all did something unspeakable, and none of us are walkin out of here. So why spend my last few days alive sleeping?"

"huh , guess that makes sense, just made all this seem all to real" John muttered out Mostly to himself

From down the hallway the sound of a heavy steel door could be heard opening then slamming shut, a few voices were heard from the small desk down that ways. A small mouse like voice started to go one by one down the hallway stopping in front of each occupied cell with a rickety cart telling them the lunch meal was here. John could hear the young man get to Georges cell to inform him there was no donuts on the menu, Ringo's laughter Could be heard down the hallway. Finally the young man got to Johns cell, he'd still been standing by the bars when he walked up to finally get a good look at the "stranger". The guard looked up from the bowl of pale yellow sludge accompanied by a few pieces of stale bread to meet John eyes,he was beautiful. Big hazel, sad doe eyes with a small button nose perfectly balanced on his heart shaped face, his eyelashes looking longer than any girls that john could recall. Silky smooth shaggy brown hair peeking out from under the hat he wore softly framing his face. Looking about three or four years younger than John, the uniform he was garbed in hugging his chest and shoulders tightly giving him a very flattering form, the trousers making his legs look like they could go on forever.

''Are you sorry?" the guard carefully spoke, seeming to put much effort into making it a genuine question instead of the sarcasm one would normally get while keeping his voice quite, barely speaking over a whisper.

John looked at the slightly shorter man through the bars, not quite hearing or understanding the bleary response.

"What" he asked a faint sound of ringing in is ears

"I said lunch" the guard gruffly reinstated, John looked down at the yellow sludge in the bowl raising his eyebrows at the repulsive meal, then back up at the man, blinking hastily not fully trusting his eyes. Where did the beautiful man go? In his place there was a middle aged balding man with a sour look on his face viably annoyed at John.

"well are you taking the bowl or not" he questioned angrily fed up with the inmates queries,his dark eyes peered into John making him feel like a small child being scolded by the teacher

"Um yes.. thank you"

The bowl of what was supposed to be soup was thrust into his hands, it looked more like a thick porridge or like wallpaper glue. John didn't really think his body could physically digest this, even if it did, sure as shit it wouldn't be pretty coming out the other end the next day. He could hear other people from the other cells gag as they tried to stomach the fowl meal, John instead opted for the stale bread that came with the meal for his main source of food until at least dinner that would be brought later

George and Ringo were now bickering too each other, John mostly ignoring them during his little episode with the guard. From what John could tell they were now on the subject of Natalie wood from west side story and Rita Hayworth. John smiled to himself lightly, the two were pretty funny to him, the two acted like sibling arguing over trivial topics like this.

George now deciding that moment being a good time to include John

"Eh John help settle the deal " he said cheekily

"I think Natalie wood is the perfect woman, Ringo over there disagrees thinks Rita Hayworth's got her beat, tell that idiot that Natalie wood runs circles around Rita"

John lightly shook his head, shoulder length hair tickling his thinly clad soldiers.

" I would say Natalie's got Hayworth beat" John contributed, ignoring the odd encounter with the guard.

"Ooh snap I told you Ringo!" came the proud voice of George.

"Oh piss off George" Ringo shouted rather aggressively

After Ringo's response the guards had intervened and demanded everyone quiet down, so there lay John against his wall, he found he quite like these two a shame they'd had to have met under the circumstances that had unfolded for them. So there he sat, lost in his thoughts, now that he'd been properly waken up and gotten is thoughts together, he'd started to recall some details of his life before the past few days.

It had been the summer of 1972, specifically August sometime near the end of the month, it had been scathingly hot throughout the summer. John had been living In New York for about six years becoming well assimilated into the late night life. During this time there had been a lot of interesting and colourful people from all walks of life coming through the city, the music art and culture was like a bright light attracting all the nearby moths.

On this particular night though John had been with a couple of his friends at some random unregulated club; bright coloured lights, fast paced music filling up the wide dark space, there were small areas of couches bean bags and chairs through the club pushed to the sides. Also pushed to the side by the bar was round booths with bright plush psychedelic benches to sit in. John and his friends sat at one of the small circular booths pushed, empty drink glasses and cannabis were scattered around the table, he was seated by the end of the booth with one of his companions curled up against his side dozing off despite the loud upbeat generic music.

They'd been at the club for almost two hours now and Johns bodily needs desperately had to be met so he got up to use the restroom. Looking back on that moment now John never would have gotten up, he'd rather have pissed his pants, anything other other than what he ended up doing. He decided to use the farthest bathroom hoping that it would be empty so he could have some privacy not really being in the room to walk in on two people having sex. Walking in he smugly noted to himself that he'd been right because no one was in this one, he chose the farthest stall from the door and started relieving himself. As he was finishing up he heard the bathroom door open, three different men had walked in and from the sound of it highly intoxicated, slightly annoyed but ultimately not minding John finished up and walked out of the stall. one of the men turned to look at him, he looked to be albino and could have done with packing on a couple of pounds He gave john a drunken smile and as if he'd known John forever grabbed him by his shoulders and led him to the other two. John had had a couple of drinks and a little bit to much grass so he just kind of went along with it not being in the right state of mind.

"Eye pal how're you t'nite?'' The albino slurred

"Im go'in pretty good man"

John slurred back trying to focus his eyes on the other more bulky looking men. The albino started up again introducing himself has snowball, he pointed to the other men john was looking at

" that's Mick'n' Taylor" Snowball sleazily said pointing to the men.

After that they all started to chat together as if they were old roommates from college, talking about anything that came to mind, weather that it be the premier of m*a*s*h earlier that year, Vietnam, or even something as useless as the number 56 . soon though snowball started to get a little agitated (mores that he already was), and pulled a small bag out of his pocket ,a lighter,straw and some tin foil. In the bag was a weird looking herb almost.

"Hey man y' want some" snowball asked pointing to the setup they had going on.

"Depends on what it is" John asked peering at the setup wearily,

At the time John didn't see it but snowball had made a sly smirk at Taylor and Mick before replying

''S'hash John, nothing bad"

John thought about it for a moment, for the duration he had been in New York he'd been living more of a bohemian lifestyle you know how it is, trying everything at least once. So deciding what harm could only doing it once do he chose to do it after all he dropped acid and LSD a few times and he regularly dabbled in pot, how much more different could hash be?

"All right snowball lets get freaky" John had said with a stupid grin on his face.

So that's how it went snowball emptied the contents of the bag onto the tinfoil and lit the lighter underneath it, giving the straw to John. soon after lighting the lighter Taylor beckoned for John to breath in the fumes with the straw. Almost instantly a euphoric, pleasurable feeling entered John, never had he experienced anything like that, the rush was amazing. Next Taylor and Mick did a bit but snowball never once touched it.

"Shit snowball that's the stuff right there thanks for lettin' me try"

John said after a few hits the tin foil now covered in thick black soot. He'd now been in the bathroom for almost 25 mins, at some point someone from his table was going to realize John been gone longer that normal and he didn't particularly fancy the idea of one of them finding him like this.

Snowball got close to John wrapped his lanky arm around his neck and breathed into Johns ear,

"That was heroine pal, you don't just try that shit once"

''Oh" was all that escaped John mouth.


	5. Chapter 5

snowball had been right when he said you don't just do heroin once, for the rest of the night John had felt so alive, a big refresher from the normally relaxed life he'd been living. He'd drag his companions onto the brightly coloured dance floor shaking his head like a madman, only stopping for breaks when his friends got to tired or he got thirsty. By all means John never said he'd been super thankful about the whole bathroom experience but you wouldn't kick a horse out of bed for eating apples. So when John had been taking a short break at the bar to get a drink Mick from earlier walked up beside him and started up a short conversation much to the confusion of the man still not 100% comfortable after the occurrence in the bathroom.

"Hey John Snowball wanted you to have this for when you need more smack"

mick casually stated, sliding a small folded piece of paper across the dark brown bar counter top to John, almost immediately Mick ordered a Manhattan and walked of into the crowd. Glancing around John carefully looked at the folded parchment, all that was on it was a address and phone number. The address looked to be in Harlem, or some other run down part of the city infested with drug dens. John noted that mick had said "when" he needed more not "if" he wanted more, thinking nothing more of it John shoved the paper into one of his pockets and returned to the booth shared by his friends and enjoyed the rest of the night.

The next day, after a long night of rest John had woken up groggy, heavy lidded eyes drowning out the bright light from the window, he was feeling like absolute shit. He'd gotten his first cup of coffee and sat at the table positioned by the window to get some work done, he was supposed to be writing a piece about the ongoing conflict in Vietnam, nothing new. Mostly criticizing their commander in chief's poor excuses for starting the conflict and covering the many soldiers who'd been injured and killed. John mostly wrote opinion articles about things like, government spending, projects done by the locals or just whatever his editor told him to do, but more frequently because of Johns tendency to have a lot of vocal opinions he had been having to write more political charged pieces. He didn't mind though whatever got the bills paid and kept him busy, he hated being bored he could never sit still for long, as a kid he couldn't stay still and he still couldn't now as a grown man. somewhere in the middle though as a teenager John had probably been the most lazy person in his state.

When he was nineteen, he had started to attend university for literature, while there he had also taken a few classes in journalism figuring it would look good on a resume. He actually did like 'uni', certainly more than school prior to that, manly because he felt he had more control over what he was doing in his days. People generally thought John was a unenthusiastic reader during his teenage years, mainly because he'd never participate in the class lesson. In novel study most of the time he'd never even have the book they were studying at the time in front of him. But in fact the reason he had never had the books with him was because he'd already read them well before everyone else in his own time. Traveling with his mother so much on those long flights around the world had left John bored so on the trips he'd spend the hours by just reading or writing little tunes.

The next few days John had started to feel worse and worse, he often found himself thinking about the high he'd gotten thanks to snowball. He found himself going back to that slip of paper Mick had given him, fiddling with it between his fingers. Four days after the club john had been sitting at his desk in the office of the paper he worked at a few pieces of his possessions cluttering his desk. A comedic mug with a photo of Nixon on it saying "worlds best president", a couple of black pens scattered about, a picture of John with a younger man standing in from of mt.Rushmore, giant toothy smiles decorating their faces. In the corner of his desk was a small plushy Julia child doll, clad in an apron and frying pan in her small soft hand. stray scattered papers with scraped doodle and poems lined the desk pooling around the pastel green typewriter sitting in front of John with a half typed article on it.

John tiredly rubbed at his almond shaped eyes, He'd been putting a lot of overtime in recently, The piece he was working on was due the next morning and it had him stressed bad, only being half done his usual routine of grass and a hot bath not working their magic. it didn't help that his chief editor had been breathing down his neck about the stupid piece. It continually pissed John off because he was the only one that faced the threat of being forcefully terminated by the boss from his job, something about that man was just plain wrong. It probably didn't help that the previous month John had casually said that their boss was probably a old crank, then some snitch ratted on john, resulting in a heated conversation in the editors office, as it turned out the editor was just a sad old Jewish man whose wife was lost in the war . So that gained john the reputation of the local asshole, a few of his co-workers though thought it was just a funny ordeal.

So there he sat staring at that crisp white slip of parchment in his hands, the high he had got being like nothing John had felt before. He needed it again, it consuming his thoughts while he just sat there staring at the beige wall. The stress relief was a need or he predicted he'd die a 40 from a heart attack. The horrible feeling flowing through his body was more likely from his mind, not the actual psychical side effects, but john still would have done anything to get better.

Grabbing the phone sitting on the corner of his desk he slowly popped his head up over the felt wall of the cubicle to glance at the surrounding cubicles before dialing the number, he watched as the iridescent dial spun around the numbers, nervously twirling the curly wire between his fingers. He held the pale yellow phone head to his ear and waited for someone to pick up, after about three times of the familiar tone, the jittery voice of snowball picked up.

"ello?"

Speaking in a low quite tone john started talking

" hey Snowball, Mick had given me your number said I could call you," John said while still keeping an eye out for any possible eavesdroppers, very aware he was setting up a drug deal "I was wondering; if we could possibly meet up a talk a bit"

So there he was five hours later in a nameless school park, Waiting on a vacant swing set under the dark starless Sky illuminated by flickering street lamps smoking a cigarette watching the smoke puffs disappeared into the dark. John had been waiting on the set for about ten minutes before snowball showed up clad in dark grey sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt; selling john the "stuff" and throwing in a few needles as a "new partnership" gift nothing else was said between the two, they weren't friends or anything having only spoke twice, once on the phone and and in the bathroom, so now $38 lighter in the pocket, John went to the small studio flat he called home and went into the bathroom, locked the door and got busy. Snowball had given him a few pointers like when you go to lay down after shooting up, lay on your side with a pillow to keep you from rolling on your back so you don't choke on your vomit. He also recommended not smoking it indoors because it had a tendency to leave thick black soot everywhere and was a nightmare to clean. If John had been in the right state of mind he would have probably cringed at the thought utterly repulsed, so he just took it at face value, not fully realizing the severity behind the "advice".

So there He sat on the ceramic white toilet seat, a small white pill he had crushed up into fine powder sat in a spoon while he put some liquid with it, lighting a zippo underneath it quickly dissolving it . With the zippo sill underneath the spoon leaving scorch marks on the bottom, the liquid starting to bubble mixing with the white powder, turning a dark amber liquid looking almost like sugar dissolving and turning too sticky sweet caramel. He had taken a shoelace and used it to tie up his upper arm cutting of the circulation, having become accustomed to the image from the unsavory folk littering the back alleys at night to be completely honest he didn't know why people did that just assuming it helped with drug related activity. Carefully he placed the zippo down and grabbed the needle sitting on the counter looking through the clear glass of it. Keeping as steady hand as he could he sucked up the burnt amber liquid into the needle, taking a large steady breath he inspected his arm, scanning it for a pale blue vein . By the crook of his elbow was one that stood out, slightly bulging out from his arm. Taking one last breath he lightly plunged the sharp needle filled with the poison liquid into his pale milky white skin. With a slightly trembling hands he pushed the orange end of the needle down injecting the drug into his body, watching as the amber liquid descend through the needle into his arm.

He didn't quit recall what had happened after that, only stumbling into bed and passing out afterwards a steady dreamless sleep, all stress walking out the door

So now here John sat in this cold grey lifeless cell brought back to the present. John had no idea how he had let himself get into that kind of a life, he had good things going for him and now here we was, literally waiting for his death. He wished he hadn't wasted those past few years like that, it's not the way people are supposed to live. He didn't feel he deserved to be here, he didn't even remember what he did for Christ sake, not that that was a good excuse. He faintly recalled a quote from school something like "ignorance of the law is no excuse for justifying your crimes". He couldn't stand violence, hated it, but yet here we was, people just don't get put on death row for being a druggie. They get put there for unspeakable crimes, they are put there because they have taken the lives of others and have forfeited the right to life.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been a few hours by now, the time nearing 11:00 pm about the time Deacon clocked in, George presumably having turned in and Ringo laying with open eyes waiting for the end on his dirty this cot, while the two still stayed up Ringo whispered out to John.

"You know my sentence is being carried out tomorrow."

John shot up not having realized his new found friends end was so soon.

"Your shitting me right?"

"m 'afraid not, s'happening 6:00 pm tomorrow, death by lethal injection''The whispering voice of Ringo uttered out.

"If you don't mind me asking, but what did you do to get here?"John asked feeling a little bad for prying.

''Three accounts of organised terrorism resulting in the deaths of twenty-three people"Came the surprisingly calm response.

''Wha..why, how?"Came Johns utterly flabbergasted query

"one of my friends I grew up with.. He was drafted in '68 was deployed in early '69, he was only 23 at the time." he paused for a moment sounding like he was fighting back tears." He was out there for maybe six months before he was shot and killed, he had a young daughter, I had to help support her and her mum, but i'm no replacement for her dd, her mum now has to raise her alone" he paused again, his cot creaking out around the silent cell block"The government was refusing to stop the conflict over there reacting like a small child having a temper tantrum, not understanding that all the killing and violence is not the solution for peace. So me and some of my friends joined a few groups opposing the war, eventually it escalated to the point of bombing capitol and government funded buildings. looking back on it i was stupid and young and i have no idea how i justified my actions at the time."

Still with a shaky breath he finished up.

" those bombings resulted in all those deaths at the time I didn't see that my actions did nothing in support of peace, so now here I am less than 24 hours left to live."

Feeling he was done John replied to the bombshell revelations.

"Ringo shit... I don't know what to say"

"you don't have to say anything I know what I did and I know that I deserve what's coming"

After Few seconds he spoke up one last time to John

"I'm gonna rest for awhile and think, you have a good night alright?'

Letting a small smile dance across his face he bid goodnight to Ringo

For maybe 10 mins there was dead silence infesting the East cell block until the heavy cast iron door at the end of the hall opened up the rusty hinges squeaking as it opened. He heard a few voices whisper to each other until one of them walked out through the iron door presumably to go home for the night. He heard a few things being shifted around on the wooden desk until the clicks of slick black shoes echoed down the hall. The steps stopped in front of Johns cell, the man pausing to stand in front of the iron bars. John had been laying on the old cot when the man walked up, slowly sitting up letting his bare feet touch the cold cement floor looking to his left to see Deacon standing there dressed in the night guard uniform.

"Ello there John, how've ya been farin today?"

Came the older mans posh accent.

"I've been farin like shit"John spoke a little jokingly

"Long day?" came Deacons gentle tone.

'Yeah a little too much soul searchin'" John said while bringing a hand up to the bridge of his nose "i'm just so tired but yet can't sleep"

"Mm yeah I know how that can go" Deacon replied trying to give a little piece of mind

This perked Johns interest a little as he sat on the side of the old creaky cot

"Ya when I was a young man iI fought in WW2, up at the front lines in France bordering Germany"

John's eyes widened as Deacon gave this important piece of information, ears perking up at the interesting conversation.

As Deacon continued he told John of how he had been living in Blackpool when he had to go to war, leaving his family behind . He'd been brought to a bootcamp where he had to train for long hours honing is body for war. He got yelled at by a drill sgt. and had to crawl through 40 feet of mud almost everyday. Him and the group of men he as with had to run these long laps trailing behind a green standard army truck with the drill sgt in it laughing at them.

Deacon had had a background in the medical field so the recruiters found it useful that he become a field medic, having to run into the wet muddy destroyed war fields and drag wounded soldiers through what felt like 300 feet back to safety. Walking over the corpses and disemboweled bodies of his friends. At night when there was some rest there would be long periods of time when all you could think about was the vibrations through the ground from the bombardment of the enemies. All the men sharing small cramped spaces that seemed to be more of holes in the ground instead of rooms, a thick smell of defecation and fire floating through the air. Every day they'd stay there more and more men died on the battlefield, or were set to an infirmary. Every once in awhile though the allies would send in a batch of new baby faced men, not fully accustomed to the hard reality of war.

Once the war was over Deacon had come to America and gotten married, he'd had a few kids that were all grown up now. Once Deacon had become accustomed to the nightmares that had plagued him ever since, a disorder that at the time had been dubbed "shell shock" had almost destroyed his life. At night he'd wake up with shaking hands as he would pour himself a glass of scotch. He always worried that his post-war self would have a negative impact on his two kids Shirley and Brian. But as Deacon was a very loving man and gave his children the care and attention they needed, he explained that before the war he'd been mostly opposed to religion but as he got older he started to accept and embrace it. On Sundays bringing his family to church and saying grace before every meal. By now his kids were in their adulthood, Shirley having become teacher and Brian a successful doctor caring for the men wounded by Vietnam. Deacon had started working this job about fifteen years ago, it was a quiet job mostly comforting the people that passed though here at the end of their life assuring them wherever they ended up they'd find peace.

And that's what the old gentleman was doing now assuring john that Ringo would be happy, that he would be reunited with friend and would have to live with the guilt that so clearly weighed down on his kind shoulders.

John found Deacon was a good listener, john told him of his drug abuse that slowly destroys his life, how he went to university for literature, then later got a job at a paper in New York. when he got to the part about casually calling his boss a crank Deacon started to laugh. John was sort of relieved that Deacon had least had a good sense of humor. John continued to just talk to the man, about his childhood, his love for "Alice in wonderland," how he had a cat he named Ferret. He told him of how his dad was taken by the army men and never came back, his mothers struggle to raise a rebellious teenager who refused to listen to anyone. So when John Asked Deacon about George the old man looked taken back, after all the talking John had done about himself it surprised him that John was interested in someone else.

"well , George's a bit complicated" Deacon said carefully

"He's very ashamed about his crimes, he's a little sick in the mind in recon" Deacon paused unsure of how to continue "He had been working in a walk in clinic, he was a nurse if I recall'

He carefully looked around to pastry cell to make sure he was asleep, he was out cold

"One day a mother had come in with her little boy, he'd had a bad cough or something, assuming he'd be safe she quickly left to do some errands. One of the on site doctors had asked him to do a standard physical on the boy so he brought him to the back room." Deacon had started to look a little uncomfortable at this point " when one of the doctors came into check on him pasty had had an episode and killed the doctor with some of the scalpels to the side. Stabbed the man eleven times in front of the whimpering boy, after a psychiatric evaluation on Geo', it was determined he just snapped. he had allot going for him, hes still a nice lad i just wish he didn't end up where he did."

Deacons sadly finished

"Holy shit"John let out

He'd have never expected the loud mouthed man could be able to do something so horrible but yet he still felt bad for the younger man, he heard Deacon make a few more rounds before settling in by the desk presumably to catch some sleep. John carefully got up and walked over to the bars glancing to the right of him to see if he might be able to see the cells that Ringo and George slept in, while he pondered on the information shared with him. it had been a lot of news to him in the past few days, whether it be from other people of from deep within johns mind. finding a wave of fatigue sweep over him, John went back to hid lone cot, lied down and let himself fall into yet another restless sleep plagued by nightmares and faceless people.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning John was pulled out of his sleep by a soft familiar mouse like voice sounding far way at first like a thick mist surrounded him, as he turned around to look at the voice he recognized it as the young beautiful guard. the one that had disappeared when serving lunch the other day, he was leaning casually against the wall on the inside of the colourless grey cell. John looked at him in confusion, he didn't remember hear the cell door being opened, but yet that didn't matter as he looked at the big brown eyes that were peering into his soul while he asked

"Do you understand why your here?"

John looked at him groggy from sleep, eye boogers caking his lid's, john for some reason just felt he couldn't lie to him, his doe eyes warm as he peered down at John.

"No.. I don't" John muttered, the guard said nothing as John tried to rub the tiredness from his eyes. "What time is it" he croaked out

The guard came to the front of his bed where his head was still on the pillow wrapped in the rags he called blankets.

"Too early luv" he said as he got down on his knees slightly gripping john's hand tightly before saying "Go back to sleep hun, you need your rest"

After that John fell back to sleep for a few more hours before he was woken up by deacon, lightly tapping on the iron bars with a spoon. He passed John a bowl of warm oatmeal through the bars.

"Heard you talking to yourself this mornin' John" he said while handing john some utensils with a worried look on his wrinkled face.

"There was someone in my cell this morning" john said a little defensively while walking to his cot playing with is oatmeal.

"Trust me lad, there's no other officer in this block that early in the mornin, when I came ta check on you, you were fast asleep" Deacon said assuring john no one was in his cell

"No but there was, a young man" john pressed.

"John! I told you no one else was here this mornin, you were probably hallucinating from all the bleedin' smack you've done" Deacon shouted at John trying to get is point across.

John was kind of taken back, he'd never heard Deacon raise his voice before, the normal calm and mannered gentleman normally refraining from unprofessional-ism. From Down the hall to the right he could hear Ringo yell politely at Deacon to keep it down, upset for the peace disturbance. He swiftly apologized to John and Ringo for yelling and in true British fashion excusing himself, it was almost the end of Deacons shift, walking down the hall to collect his belongings and go home to his wife and presumably having a home cooked meal.

John could hear George wake flopping on the old rickety cot in his cell, sloppy eating his oatmeal from his laying down position. With Ringo and the other inmates eating it was mostly quite, the buzzing from the lights softly filling up the space, the soft scraping of spoons on the metal bowls filling the space as well. nothing much happened for the next few hours the only notable thing happening being lunch being served by a guard that kind of looked like Keith Richards. The time wore on until 5:00 pm when Some gruff looking day guard bringing Ringo his last requested meal, a simple but elegant hamburger with a site of curly fries. The smell of an all american quarter ponder filling the small cell block, the burger topped with pickles, lettuce, tomatoes cucumber, onions, mustard, and relish squished in between the perfectly toasted sesame seed buns. It kind of pissed everyone else because they were stuck with lukewarm overcooked macaroni, no one said anything though not wanting to make Ringo think about his limited time left and because they would all get their last meal at some point too.

As Ringo slowly ate his last meal, George and John comforted him as best they could, but Ringo had let his naturally cool, calm and collected exterior fade away and be replaced by sheer terror and sorrow. Facing the imminent reality of his mind being erased forever, it was mind boggling to him that in a little less than an hour he wouldn't exist, all he'd ever know was the life he'd been gifted on this planet.

"Man its okay Ringo keep you chin up, at least its a reputable way to go out" George spoke

"Ya come on Ringo well see you in hell" john tried to say lightning the somber tone with a well times little joke, they all found that pretty funny even though the "joke" was as funny as a damp towel.

"Hey George, John, i'm glad that I met you two, even if it had to be near the end of our lives. I couldn't have asked for better company" Ringo said in the most sincere honest way.

So for the last half hour the three of them laughed, shouted, whooped hollered and even cried a little as the minute hand drew closer to the next hour. Telling each other of family,friends memories, anything that could have possibly come to mind, Eventually shifting to some more somber subjects he explained

"Ringo, do you...regret what you did" John questioned.

" what kind of question is that John? Of course I do" Ringo explained. "What I did what unforgivable, we're all here because we did something unforgivable. I bombed shit three times John, I killed people. George ruined some boys life and murdered an innocent man, and you? Your not innocent either whether you remember whatever you did or not, you're being held responsible" he continued kind of killing the mood.

"We know that man, sometimes it's just easier to forget that" come the surprisingly depressed tone of George acting mature for once.

"Especially when im following suite after you tomorrow and John after me in two days"

From down the hallway like so many times before, the heavy metal doors opened and two pairs of footsteps walked in, slowly stepping down the hall stopping in front of doggs cell.

"Well my friends, in the words of Edgar Allan Poe " screw you and lets get this shit over with" Ringo shouted out to John and George.

"Uh Ringo I think you got your quotes a little mixed up" George grinned out

" hey what are you his third parole officer" john jokingly said as the two men led Ringo down the hallway down towards John. Down the hallway to the left was a long bend that turned left two what john could only assume was a small medical room where the injection would be taken. As they walked by john got his first look he'd ever seen of Ringo, only ever seeing the guards since he'd gotten into the East block.

Ringo was actually shorter than john expected, his bright blue piercing eyes lighting up at he smiled at john . His brow shaggy hair falling in his eyes a bit as he waddled down the hallway being led by the guards, somehow with a skip to his step considering were he was headed. Slowly walking down to the left and down the turn, the echoes of the one set of bare feet and the two pair of black clad shoes filling the block. The three finally reaching the end of the hall, one of the men opening one last door encompassing the three of them.

John never saw the man again, despite only knowing him for maybe 50 hours, he was good company.

Later that night Deacon had come back noting the somber mood from the absence of Ringo. Deacon made his rounds and talked to the two of them along with a few of the other inmates there. John kept his conversation short with the older man this time feeling as expected quite depressed from Ringo's lack of attendance.

"Is it quick?"john asked

" I suppose" Deacon replied

"Is it like falling asleep?" john asked again sounding a little innocent asking that

"I've heard it is" deacon said

When john didn't reply deacon sense that as his Que to leave, still standing in front of his cell door he looked down to his right to look in the direction of Georges cell.

" hey George, are you going at the same time?" john asked a little brashly.

"Yeah everyone goes a six o'clock" George said a little muffled

" what are you asking for your last meal?"

" a dozen donuts" George said

They both broke out laughing and even a few of the other people in the block started laughing too.

"I'll even share one with you eh john?" George joked.

" only if you dont fuck it then yeah"

After the conservation with Deacon and then George, John lied down like so many times before on the increasingly familiar cot that would probably give him scoliosis, and fell asleep


	8. Chapter 8

That night was one of the worst so far throughout the entire night, he could barely sleep. Exhaustion weighing down his mind and body,the few times he was able to fall asleep in was a light sleep plagued by increasingly abstract and avant garde nightmare masquerading as dreams. When he finally got his ass up it was already four in the afternoon, it having surprised him because he didn't quite understand how when he had such a shitty sleep. For a long while he just sat the on his bed listening to George try to smooth talk one of the new female guards, johns briefly recalled her name being Pattie.

"Oh come on George leave the poor girl alone, no one wants to hear your crappy pick up lines" John piped up

"Oh shit the cold turkey finally graces us with his presence." George teased

" well sorry I didn't know you so desperately needed my presence so bad" John sarcastically replied.

"Hey im gettin' the shot in like two hours i'd be nice to have a little company" he called out.

John didn't know how to reply to that so the silence filled the hall, the guard George had been harassing having long since left.

"Eh John, do you know what I did to get here" George asked a little nervously.

"Ya, Deacon told me last night"

silence filled the hall fro a brief moment

"You know I regret it right?" George asked a little hopefully, like he was trying to apologize to John.

"Ya I know" John muttered out

"I wish i'd never done it, i've always been a little weird. I wished id gotten help instead of letting it get that bad. I mean come on, I ruined a little boy's life, that boy will never be the same I killed a man in front of that boy. I killed a man who probably had beautiful kids on a gorgeous wife, his kids growing up without a dad, never feeling his hug again. His kids having to watch their mother break down in tears on the phone when she heard what I did to him. I just wish I wasn't here" he finished, voice breaking at the end.

"Well I hope you find peace my friend" john said

" you know what John, that actually just what I needed to hear" George said sounding choked up.

By now it had become five o clock, a man bringing in Georges last requested "meal". A dozen mixed perfect Dunkin Donuts, the twelve of the glistering in the bright light from the various glasses topping them. They ranged from chocolate to Boston cream filled, George carefully picked up one of the eclairs that were in the cardboard box and flagged a guard over, asking it be brought to John. When the guard brought John the eclair he was actually taken back, thinking George had been joking yesterday when they were talking about the last meal.

"Shit thanks George, I thought you were joking yesterday" John called to him

" your welcome man, I mean come on I have more than enough for one person" he said muffled while shoving the fluffy treat in his mouth

John looked down at the eclair covered in a chocolate glaze covered in rainbow sprinkles in his hands, he couldn't remember the last time he'd had one of theses it being a nice treat considering the diet he'd been having the past few days. Bringing the treat to his mouth he bit into the eclair immediately the strong flavors rushing through his mouth, bringing his other hand to his mouth to catch some of the hardened chocolate glaze that was falling off. It was without a doubt the best thing he'd had since arriving here. The fluffy texture feeling amazing on his tongue, the creamy glazing melting in his mouth dissolving the sprinkle that topped it. When john had finished it he quickly liked any remains of his skeletal fingers making wet popping sounds.

John and George sat there for the next our, John listening to George scarf down the last of his Dunkin donuts until finally the same two men from yesterday cam in to collect him. Opening his cast iron cell door they led him down towards John, their solemn footsteps coming closer and closer, their steps echoing around the East wing. As they walked back john caught Georges eye much like Ringo 24 hours ago, he actually didn't look anything like john expected. dark eyes and hair standing out against his hollow pale cheeks. his hair was much like johns and Ringo's, very messy and shaggy. if john had sow him on the street he would have never expected George would ever end up here.

"See ya john" he said while passing by

"Catch ya later man" John said watching him walk down the same hallway as Ringo and the same one John would be walking down the next day. John stood there and listened to the steel door down the stone hallway creak open then slam shut.

John stood there for a few more minutes listening to the deafening silence, usually the voice of Ringo or George filling the silence. Even if they weren't you could hear the sound of the lights or a guard at the desk typing away at his typewriter. Even by 10 it was still silent. Even though john had only woken up 5 hours ago, he laid down to get some sleep finding it easy for once to fall into a deep slumber.


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning he was woke up the the smiling wrinkled face of Deacon standing at his cell door, lightly tapping the bars with his glossy ebony baton. John audibly groaned for a brief moment before tossing the blanket of his sweaty body, looking at Deacon on raised elbows.

"Mornin John, need ta know what yer last meal is" he said

Wiping at his eyes he thought for a moment digging through his brain for a suitable meal, finding a deep memory from maybe six years ago getting a foot long sandwich, he'd gotten one when he first got to New York. It was simple but good, the bread tasting amazing and freshly baked

"A footlong sandwich, basically everything except olives oh and no meat" John croaked out

Deacon nodded as he mentally noted this information, considering Deacon was still here working John assumed it was still early in the morning. The old man still standing there gently sighing as he shoved is hands in his pockets and sighed.

"Your too young to be here John" he gently said

"When I was 32 I was still living my life, I had met my wife only a few years earlier. I could never imagine doing harm to her or being in a place like this at your age" he added on

John looked at Deacon with a look of confusion the last bit about his wife seeming out of the blue. Deacon looked back up at John noticing his confused expression and elaborated

"You still don't remember do you?'

"A little over a week ago police were called for a noise complaint from one of your neighbors. When they'd gotten there they knocked on the door. No one answered, so they tried the door knob, it was unlocked so they opened the door and walked in. When they first got in it looked like mess, papers scattered everywhere furniture tossed over and mugs smashed on the ground." Deacon rubbed his weary eyes for a moment

"They'd started to look throughout the apartment carefully looking through the rooms, the last one they opened was the master bedroom. On the bed lied a young man no older than thirty, when the police went to get a closer look they saw he was dead." he paused for a moment to look into johns eyes

"He had aggressive bruising around his neck and body, it looked like there had been a struggle. They soon identified that the body wasn't you so they kept looking, Passed out in the stairwell was you. They found large traces of heroin in your blood as well as around 50 grams of heroin on your person."

John sat on the bed in realization. It started to trickled in , the thick mist that had been surrounding his memories holding the hostage seemed to vanish just like that. He looked at Deacon with teary eyes and said

"What was his name, the dead man?" John managed to make out, not wanting to hear the response, fearing the name he'd hear

The scouser looked sadly at him and said

"Paul McCartney"

And just like that a floodgate had been opened up.


	10. Chapter 10

John had met Paul when he was eighteen, Paul had been a baby faced fifteen year old at the time. John and his mother had been visiting his aunt, uncle and his cousins for Christmas driving up to Minnesota. Him and his mother had been living in Illinois at the time and John hated it there, it was mind numbingly boring and nothing ever happened, he'd much have rather lived in a busy city like Chicago or New York. Somewhere where everyone was always in a hurry and was busy, somewhere where culture and art flourished whether is be day or night.

The year had been 1960, up in Minnesota it was actually very surprisingly cold even though it wasn't that far from home the weather had been quite different. His mother and him and planned to stay there for around ten days, the duration of John's school break, John was actually fine with spending his break with the extended family. It had been the last year of high school for him and he was Pretty excited he wouldn't have to deal with it anymore, even if he barely did his school work.

One of his cousins Mark had been talking about a social gathering at one of his friends house and asked john if he wanted to tag along. To John that sounded like a party, the kind with alcohol loud exiting people and, dancing to the upbeat baselines of head bobbing rock. John liked mark pretty well, we was a year younger than john and had bright sandy blond hair neatly combed into the upstanding crew cut and was usually garbed in a button up shirt with some dress pants. John at the time looked a little more gruff, he had once had crew cut but had not been to the barber in a long time causing his Auburn hair to have grown out to an unacceptable length for this time ( being about 3-4 inches long from the scalp). Wearing some comfortable jeans, a white t-shirt and a old leather jacket reminiscent of the ever so popular greaser apparel. His aunt and uncle didn't approve of Johns look, they had more of a liking for the posh upstanding, well maintained look mark had.

When mark and John arrived at the house there were already about fifty other people there, inside there were a lot of different teenage girls and boys hanging around with what john assumed was not just juice. It was about 9:00 pm and it was already dark out from the season having change to winter, the owners of the house apparently were at an winter office party leaving their teenage daughter alone to do as she pleased. That being inviting a bunch of people over for a party, the kitchen jam packed full of snacks and alcohol, the bottles littering the granite counter tops. John could feel the eyes of some laddies on him, he knew he was better than average looking, auburn hair, porcelain skin surrounding brown almond shaped eyes. Having a sharp jawline and a fine body shape to him. So the attention wasn't completely foreign to him.

Mark had led him to the kitchen where some of his school friends were, while mark was introducing them john poured himself a drink, numbly listening to whatever they were saying.

At some point mark and his friends had left to go have a smoke or something leaving john alone while standing there in the kitchen casually leaning on the island countertop. Hearing some sounds from behind him he turned around to look at the noise that cut through the loud music that filled the atmosphere. Behind him was a younger boy with his back turned to him, from where john was standing he could see the younger boy pouring a coke and a disturbing amount of whiskey into a glass cup. He called out to the boy

"Eh, you think you got enough whiskey in there mate?"

"As long as it doesn't kill me I see no problem" the soft out of place voice spoke.

Laughing at this John walked over to the boy interested in him.

"Well that's an idea I can drink to" john said grabbing the bottle from the boy and spiking his own cup.

"Aye" the younger person agreed , as they both drank together.

"So who'd you come to this shindig with tonight" the boy asked

"Eh my cousin, but he left to bother some of his friends" john said shrugging not really caring he'd been basically ditched in a place where he knew no one.

"Eh fuck those guys" the younger one said before sticking out a soft hand

"I'm Paul McCartney" he said with a toothy grin.

Taking a moment to look at Paul, John noted a few of his features. He had dark brown hair in a similar fashion to Johns, big brown eyes above a perfectly balanced button nose that sat above plump pink lips. His hair falling around face framing the pale smooth heart shaped pale face. we was wearing a disgusting pink knitted sweater looking like it was from his grandmother with a big blue cat on the center of it,the sweater looked to be 3 sized too big, the sleeves going well pass his hands. He had skintight jeans on and some weird basketball looking shoes that said converse on the side, his clothing options were a little odd but seemed to fit him quite well.

John took Paul's hand and said

"Well Macca, im John Lennon" he said ignoring the jolt of electricity hes gotten from shaking Paul's hand.

After talking to each other for a bit they found they quite liked each other, finding they had some of the same interests and likes. As they talked john found out Paul came from a really big family, being somewhat of a middle child behind the third youngest child out of seven, three sisters and four brothers including Paul. He hand two loving parents that worked hard, his father working as a cotton salesman . His mother working as a midwife, getting up in the middle of the night to help women in labor. Paul went to school five days a week and wasn't super good at English or social studies, weirdly though he was nailing French, leave it to Paul to get D's in English but B's in French.

They spent the whole night like that, just talking and getting to know each other. They were practically joined at the hip, by the end of the night the two and already made plans to meat the next day, john finding it a good time to give his phone number and address back in Illinois. Paul looked a little disappointed when john explained where he lived, a state down to the right.

"I'd always longed to live in New York" john said while they sat on the steps leading up to the bedrooms, the party having started to die down.

" when I finish high school I'm going to go to university there" Paul yawned leaning against John lean frame on the carpeted steps exhausted and tipsy.

"I like your determination" john responded an, arm laying behind Paul on the soft steps

"My mom says my determination is inspiring" he said " that's a load of shit though" he finished.

" eh she's right, true American dream you are" john said while taking a sip from cheap piss tasting beer.

"The American dream is a mess" Paul responded with sustain reeling through his voice.

"I mean common, we can't go more than 20 years without getting pissy and getting into a war with another country while we neglect our own people" he continued

"And even with the shit that's started to happen in Vietnam, it's stupid. There's so much more we could be doing with our time, energy and money." John inteveined, waving his hands frantically while staring ahead of him.

"Well I'm glad someone agrees with me" Paul smiled

" eh me too, usually when I start spewing my philosophy the people just tell me I don't know what I'm talking about" john chuckled

" my teachers tell me I'm too ambitious and that I should keep my mouth shut" Paul added looking ahead too

A comfortable silence filled the air while they still sat curled up on the beige soft stairs. It was getting very late by now, john and mark were supposed to be getting home soon or they'd get in so much trouble, john wasn't very fond of getting a scolding from his wealthy republican extended family, his aunt giving off a cold vibe to john, His mother never really cared to scold him. He looked down to his left at Paul who looked like he was dozing off, john lightly brushed some brown tufts of hair out of his eyes the elevated alcohol levels in his blood clouding his mind. His hair was incredibly soft, feeling like wefts of the most exquisite silk in the modern world. John studied Pauls face for a little while longer before he spotted mark stumble over, a stupid grin on his face with a bright red head hanging on his arm.

" hey john m'go with Jane for a little while don't wait up yeh?" He slurred while the girl started rubbing her manicured finger up his back, getting the message John said with a raised eyebrow

" alright mark have fun"

When the pair left, john looked back down to Paul and gently nudged him to a state of consciousness. He jumped when he felt john nudge him with his leather clad elbow in his ribs. John stood up and stuck out a hand to Paul's sitting form, Paul looked at the hand with his big brown eyes and took it, lifting himself up. john continued to hold his hand as he led him out of the house to the cold bone chilling winter air, the faint smell of smoke could be detected in the gentle breeze that blew the feather light snow if he rooftops. The two walked down the dead street, footsteps being muffled by the odd patch of snow on the sidewalk. Paul didn't say anything as he looked down at their held hands, but hiding them a bit with his long sleeves, looking around to make sure they were hidden from any prying eyes. Paul looked from their entwined fingers to john and asked

" where are we going?"

"I assumed your house" john replied in a matter of fact voice

" my house is in the other direction" Paul said giggling while pointing behind him

" oh shit well the. Let's turn around" john said suddenly turning around catching Paul off guard.

" let's turn around" Paul mocked while pulling on Johns earlobe with his free hand, limber fingers pinching the soft tender skin there. A slight shiver spread through johns body when Paul pulled his sensitive earlobe, almost like a small shot of electricity. John lightly slapped Paul's arm and laughed at his mockery of him, another spout of silence filled the air around them. Soon enough the pair made it to Paul's house, it was a fair size but small considering how many people lived there, that being his sisters, brothers and parents. The two separated as Paul turned to look at johns leather clad form.

" where are you sleeping tonight" Paul said while holding his arms crossed across his chest, the cold chilling air have started to cut through the wool knitted sweater.

" I mean I'm supposed to be staying with my aunt and uncle but I have to idea where I am" John said with a shrug

Paul released a amused sigh and laughed at john not have thinking ahead of time. "come on, follow me" Paul beckoned.

They walked through the snow covered front yard, through the gate leading into the quiet backyard, they walked to the back of the house where a small window was that led into the basement. He gently pried it open with a thin metal rod and propped the glass pane open letting the two teenagers slip into the basement of the two story house.

paul slipped in first onto dark hardwood floor below, reaching his arms up to john and asking

"Do you need me to catch you madam?"

John just looked back down into the darkness with an annoyed face and silently slipped down pushing Paul playfully. Paul put a finger to his lips as he lead him down the thin hallway to the last door on the right. Their snow covered shoes making small clicks on the dark mahogany floor. Even though they were in the basement it looked very habitable, the walls painted a cream white and even a few pictures hanging on the walls, there also two other doors, presumably to other rooms. When Paul opened the last door John was met with the sight of a bedroom, Paul's specifically.

It smelled of flowery candles from a grandmother's house, the walls were painted a deep purple, but they were mostly covered with posters . Buddy holly, chuck berry Elvis cluttered his walls, "the wild ones" with Marlon Brando danced across a paper poster by a old wood piano and guitar on the far right wall. there was a twin bed on the left and next to it was a small desk with a cheap record player and radio on it. The room wasn't terribly big many a little smaller than Johns room back home.

Paul pointed to a cream coloured dial phone and asked

"Do you need to call anyone?"

John responded with a chuckle

" only if you have a phone book"

Paul looked at him with a small smile, john didn't know where he was staying or even the phone number of where he was staying ( good marker of what kind of person he was). So he walked out the door and up the stairs very quietly, making sure he didn't step on any of the dreadfully loud screeching steps.

While Paul was gone for a few minutes, john felt it was his duty to familiarize himself with the bedroom more intimately, walking over to the bed and sitting down. He reached down and untied his shoes slipping them of, he shook of his leather jacket and very stiffly laid down on the soft comfortable bed. It felt like it had three quilts on it making it almost criminally cozy, his head hitting the soft pillows, the soft musk of Paul's shampoo could be detected on the dark pillow cover. John lied there with his hands crossed over his fleshy abdomen, fingers tightly laced together letting his eyes wander around the room taking in every little detail when the door creaked open, John turned his head to the right to look at Paul who had come through the door.

"I see you've made yourself comfy" Paul joked while throwing the heavy yellow pages on Johns chest winding him. John started wheezing from behind winded by the book, rolling on his side to hold his chest .

"Ohh...Fuck."

He gasped catching his breath, hearing the melodic sound of Paul's laughter fill the room. Paul bend down and picked up the phone book that John had knocked over onto the ground setting it more softly in john's hands this time.

John after a few minutes to collect himself, he was now scanning through the yellow pages looking for his uncle or aunts phone number, his finger grazing the yellowed paper worn down from use following names and numbers. His finger stopped at his uncle's name and looked over at the accompanying number. walking over to the phone with the book, he turned the spin dial calling his uncle and aunt keeping the book open with one hand. The tone went only once before the hysterical voice of his aunt came on

"Hello who's there" she spoke...or more so sobbed

" hey Mimi it's John" he hesitantly said, for a moment there was no noise before She started to scream incomprehensible

Words at him, when she stopped babbling for a moment he asked " can you please put my mother on please" There were sounds of the receiver being handed over to his mother

" where are you! Mark has already been home for almost half an hour" She shouted at him

" ok listen, mark left me and I have no idea how to get home so I'm staying with a friends for the night alright, he let be borrow the phone" john tried to reason, there was a brief pause between him and his mother as she considered his words

" are you safe?"she asked more calmly more concerned over her teenage son's safety than anything else.

John briefly glanced at Paul before answering.

" yeah mom im safe" he said

" ok, can the friend show you back here tomorrow?" She asked

" she wants to know if you can take me to my aunts tomorrow" john spoke to Paul with a hand over the receiver.

" sure I'm not doing anything anyways" Paul spoke peeling his shoes and cat sweater off messing up his dark head of hair.

" ya mom he can" john once again spoke to the receiver

She gently sighed in relief and finished

"Ok be safe tonight"

" ok by mom" he spoke setting the head on the phone.

He turned back around thanking Paul for letting him borrow the phone. Paul had already settled into the bed, another pillow settled by the foot of the bed for John, so John walked over to the bed unzipping his jeans he stepped out of them leaving him in his t-shirt and boxers. Gently laying on the bed he carefully maneuvered himself so he was comfortable, making sure he wouldn't get a face full of Paul's bare feet that were settled by his face. The two said goodnight to each other before falling asleep listening to the sound of each other's breathing.

He next morning they were woken up by the sound of a rough tapping at the wood door, the voice of one of Paul's sisters shouting at him to wake up. They both groggily woke up as one of Paul's older sisters Angela, poked here head in and let out a audible gasp at seeing john.

" I see you have a friend, I'll tell mom to set out a extra seat and plate" she said with a shit eating grin as she noticed Paul's embarrassment from her intrusion in his room.

"Angie get out!" he shouted startling john into a better state of conscious . Her brunette head of long hair disappeared from the doorway, somewhat respecting Paul and Johns privacy.

Paul slowly shifted to sit up letting out a large yawn stretching his arms over his head in the process, he stepped out of the bed very gingerly and gracefully. Picking some stray jeans and slipping them on, motioning for John to do the same.

The pair then Slipped out of the room and walked past the window from the previous night, continuing down the hallway towards the narrow flight of stairs. A few more details could be picked up about the house, considering that it was morning on the light was peeking through some of the windows near the roof. The staircase turned left once into a comfortable family living room. The sounds of breakfast could be heard in the kitchen next to the living room. it was very loud, it sounds like seven different people were talking at once, the sound of cutlery clattering against the ceramic plates. Paul lead John into the kitchen we're a long table was filled with his family, two empty spots with plates filled with breakfast on them near the end of the table by a older woman, presumably Paul's mother. Toast eggs, hash browns and fruit pilled the plates, different prices of strawberries, blueberry and apples were scattered haphazardly around the plate.

Paul and John made themselves comfortable in their seats near the end of the table when his mother who was seated across from John stuck up a conversation

"Why hello there we weren't originally expecting company" her kind southern accent drawled

" yeah sorry, I'm staying with my cousin for the break, last night he ditched me so I had no idea how to get home. Paul offered to let me stay here for the night and let be borrow you phone" john explained watching a smile slowly erupt from her face while everyone else at the table continued on with their own conversations ignoring the stranger.

"Well were always happy to have company" she said a pause before continuing and sticking out a delicate manicured hand out across the table.

" I'm Mary, Paul's mother" she introduced with a kind smile.

John took her hand and gently shook it politely responding

" m'john"he said shoving some of the meal into his mouth.

Most of the other sibling had left or ran off to their own devices whether that be running off to friends houses or their respective rooms. This left Paul's father Jim at the other end with a newspaper in his old hands, Paul,John and Mary were still stationed at the other end casually talking about johns stay in Minnesota, until John looked at the old grandfather clock to see the time.

" well Mary thank you for the delicious meal and hospitality, I've better be getting home before my mom wrings my neck, I'll have to borrow your son though to show me where the address is"

She looked at the two who had gotten up to the door and were putting on their jackets, a amused look on her face showing her youthful personality shine through.

Paul and John had stepped outside into the crisp morning air and started walking down the sidewalk, the bright chirping of birds echoing around the suburban area of Minnesota. In Paul's hand was the address he'd gotten from the phone book next to the phone number, john having been useless at even remembering his temporary home address. Paul's bright eyes closely scanned the street names as he chattered aimlessly to his companion sharing the sidewalk with him, eventually they made it to the posh houses that he and his mother had been staying at. The outside looking very indeed boring, a white picket fence lining the large lawn that was buried under the snow, the house being about two stories and a bare garden in front of the house that was usually lined with roses. The two walked up to the house and John opened it with the spare key he'd been temporarily give, inviting Paul with him in so they could hang out for a while, the warmth of the house welcoming them with open arms.

He shouted out into the house

"Honey I'm home"

His mother almost immediately came barreling down the stairs stopping at the base of the stairs to look at him before running over and enveloping her teenage son in a tight embrace efficiently embarrassing him in front of Paul who he had been working very hard to look tough in front of him. He looked over to too Paul to see him holding back laughter at the affectionate attacks johns was dealing with from his mother as she scolded him for being out so late and not coming home. Paul had by now cleared his throat drawing the attention of Julia.

" oh hello, are you the boy who John stayed with last night?" She asked

" uh yeah I'm Paul, Paul McCartney"

He said throwing a charming smile in the mix of it

The two exchanged pleasantries before john intervened

" me and Paul are gonna hang out in ma room, mainly to avoid the dragon"

She swatted his arm as he referred to her sister, his aunt as a dragon, watching as the two teenagers on the brink of adulthood scramble into Johns temporary room, on the way down the hall John spotted mark passed out in his bed through the crack in his bedroom door. John nudged the door open to reveal a very generic looking guest room, everything looking clean pristine and no personality whatsoever. The walls painted eggshell white, a blue queen size bed with a neatly made quilt pushed into one wall. There was two mahogany polished wood cabinets for clothes and other miscellaneous belongings. The only sign of johns residence was stray jeans, socks shirts and undergarments littering the beige soft carpeted floor. The house was actually bigger than Paul's even though only three people lived in this one, leaving john and his mother with separate rooms while staying there, which john was extremely fortunate about not really liking the idea of sharing a bed with her.

The walked in john closing the door behind Paul's making sure they'd have privacy as they just sat around doing nothing.

And that's how it went for the next few days, Paul and john would go to each others houses or out to town to hang around each other. The two increasingly enjoying each others company, even Angela (Paul's sister) who john quickly found was Paul's favorite sibling, noticed the twos inseparable partnership. Sometimes Angela would tag along in their adventures, even if it was in true teen rebellious nature. The tree would sneak into movies, or bars or wherever they weren't supposed to be. But every good thing has to end, johns stay in Minnesota was coming to a end, emotions of anger and sadness plaguing john, even Julia had started to pick up on her sons erratic emotions. One moment he'd be fine the next he'd be a emotional mess sobbing into his hands.

The night before the last day of johns stay, he and Paul had gone off into the night, it had luckily been weirdly warmer that night casing some of the snow to melt and the roads to be covered in ice. The two had climbed up to a hill that overlooked the small town, the street lights illuminating the streets looking like twinkling stars below them. It looked like the pictures you'd see from San Francisco in California, the golden gate bridge framing the photo while from the hill the photo was taken giving a good view from up high. Of course the view back in Minnesota wasn't as grand or breathtaking but it was good enough for the pair.

They sat there on a old worn out bench next to a deteriorating dirt path for walks, the two gently listening to the sounds of the town below them. They were huddled up for no other reason then comfort as john told Paul about his life back in Illinois.

"My father was drafted for the war, he never came back. My mom doesn't like talking about it, whenever i try she gets hysterical and angry at me" john told

"Im sorry" Paul said curling up closer to john, bringing is knees to his chest as John's warm casually slipped behind him.

"Its okay Macca, I never really knew him, I was very young when he left...but y'know it still hurts, not really having strong father figure in my life especially when mom never let me have any closure" he said voice cracking in the end looking at one of his hands as he picked at a stray thread on his jeans.

Paul noting his nervous habit of picking at his jeans, as he lightly pulled on johns earlobe like when they first met walking back to Paul's house. John laughed lightly as he let Paul yank on his ear, pulling the sensitive skin before Paul asked

"Will you still call me when you go home"

John looked down to his right to look at the younger boy curled up into his side

"Of course I will mate, Im your friend not some girl who gave you a fake number too" he joked

Satisfied with the answer they slipped into a comforting silence still wrapped into each others arms, Paul at some point having grabbed Johns boney calloused hands, enjoying the warmth of the skin on skin contact, ignoring any feeling of uneasiness at the act.

Then a little over an hour later they parted ways, the next morning, barley breaking dawn John an his smother left leaving his aunt uncle, mark and more importantly Paul behind.


	11. Chapter 11

After John had went home, they two continued to stay in contact, mostly writing letters to each other and sometimes the odd phone call. It would be like that for almost two years util John had gotten enough money from one of his early Jobs to buy his own car. It wasn't anything special, a faded grey colour covering it, worn out leather seats from its previous owners. John didn't need anything special, as long as it could run and get him where he needed to go, John was fine with it. His mother also loved it because that meant she could get John to run out and get some groceries or run miscellaneous errands. Even though John had reached 20 by the previous month he hadn't built up enough determination to move out or apply to any colleges or university's yet, much to the annoyance of his mother. They would have almost constant fights about this, he main argument being he wasn't doing anything with his life, he always just rolled his eyes and left the house, reacting like a moody teenager more than the adult he was.

His and Julia's relationship was starting to get strained, shed been feeling under the weather lately and johns antics didn't help any. He'd been spending more and more time at his job and writing to Paul, shed started to become more agitated with this. It got to one point where they'd had a fight, it had been on a Friday evening, she screaming at him for something like being late home from work and forgetting to pick up a few groceries. John had felt a little bad for her considering she had to leave for work in ten mins. She was flying of to France and would be gone for around two weeks, after arriving in France making a few small flights in and around Europe. When John was younger there we're many moments like this, Julia wasn't the best at disciplining him so her main way to indicate john was in trouble was by threatening to send him of to Mimi's. There was one point in his life when their financial state was so bad, John almost was sent to Mimi's so Julia could find a way to deal with everything, this plan of course was mainly proposed my Mimi because she felt her sister wasn't capable of caring for a child.

Seeing that his mother was out of town for the next two weeks, John saw it as the perfect time two rebel against her and drive up to Minnesota to visit Paul. He had constantly begged Julia with questions of if he could go to see the younger boy, she always answered with the same response of "no John, your to busy with your job and I need your help around the house".

John always though it was stupid but he never wanted to cause her any more intensive stress, so now that she was gone, he took a week of from work, cashing in vacation days and headed out the next morning on Saturday. He packed a few clothes, some money, and a few little knick- knacks and bobbles. Feeling generous he decided to bring Paul a gift, so before he drove off he stopped in the local farmers market to grab him something. After perusing through the booths for a while he decided on a extremely longer than conventional, red and white striped scarf with red tassels on the end. Considering last time John saw Paul in person he'd been wearing a disgusting knitted sweater, john thought the scarf made from the same material would be suitable for the brown eyed boy.

The previous night John had thought it wise to ring Paul up, it being one of the few times they ever phoned each other, mainly because Julia's strict phone policy, it was her house so her rules. He'd nervously called the McCartney household, waiting as the dial tone started to ring before a familiar southern drawl answered. 

"Hello whos there?" Mary, Paul's mother spoke out

"Hey Mary, it's john, Paul's friend I was wondering if he's available" he spoke, trying to make it as polite as possible for the older woman.

"John! It's been quite some time since i've spoken to you last, Paul'll be happy you called,just you hold on a few shakes, let me get him" she responded

John waited patiently as he waited for Mary to get Paul, hearing her shout out for one of her sons, the sound of the receiver being passed on to someone else's hands.

"John? Are you there?'' came the song like voice of the younger boy.

"Im here Paul, you have to idea how much i've missed your voice"

"I think i might have some idea" Max played back

"Yes well, I have some exciting news. Julia's outta town for the next two weeks and I was thinking about driving up to visit"

"Your shitting me, please tell me you not joking. John please tell me you coming to visit" Paul rambled out clearly having been missing him.

"Well I mean only if you'll have a scoundrel like me"

"Fuck john of course i'll have you"

Those words were rattling around in john's head for hours after the phone call, and even now as he was driving along some nameless highway, the sun shining high above him as random birds flew around the blue open air. He drove for a few more hours before he finally ,made it to the quiet town Paul lived in, last night they'd made and agreement that they would meet up in a small children's park at noon, this time around it was in and around spring so the snow had long since melted, in its place flowers popping up and children running around without jackets.

John pulled up onto the side of the road, put on some sunglasses onto his angular face protecting his eyes from the bright sunlight. As he got out of the car he looked around looking for Paul, his eyes stopped on a lone figure hunched over a notebook at a picnic table overlooking the kids that were chasing each other on the playground. John let a smile dance across his face as he slowly stalked over with his hands in his pockets, fondling his car keys in them. As he got closer to Paul, who was still hunched over his notebook his head casually looked up, looking around the park until they landed on john a huge grin erupting on his face, a van Gogh painting having nothing on that face john decided. Paul looked jumped up from his spot on the old wood picnic table and ran the rest of the way towards john, basically jumping into johns arms as they hugged, basking in the missed feeling of each others arms. As they separated they still held each other's arms as they looked at each other. Paul didn't look much different, he had lost most of his baby fat, his deep almost black hair having grown out more, they texture having become more wavy just barely brushing against Paul's shoulders. He wasn't wearing that dreaded cat sweater (mainly because it was to hot) instead wearing a button up white shirt that was rolled up to the elbows, some casual black shorts that came up to a little above his knees and brown leather sandals.

As they stood there Paul noted that John had changed quite a bit too. His auburn coloured hair having not remained in its quiff, but now was natural, looking soft to the touch having grown out to the shoulders too shining in the sun reflecting the red deep within johns hair, the front was well maintained but the back was longer grazing his shoulders. The soft face that Paul was more accustomed to had become more edged and angular, although it was still attractive and still had hints of the soft features he was use too. His nose was slightly crooked too, evidence of it having being broken at some point since their separation.

The two slowly separated waking back over to the table that Paul had been occupying before johns arrival, making sure there was a safe distance between the two to prevent any accusations from the parents watching their children. Paul sat down first resuming the lyrics he was scribbling down, John hovering over his shoulder reading through the delicate well writing words, his mouth slightly hanging open as he read through the words with amazement.

"Close your mouth before you attract flies mate" Paul giggled

"I didn't know you could write like this" john said motioning to the word.

"Well I have to if i'm going to New York, I was serious when I said I was going to school there for music. " Paul replied

"Wait did you get accepted?" John asked being well aware of Paul's intentions to go to school there

"Yeah here look, I was waiting to tell you in person" he said while reaching into a carry on bag to his side pulling out a letter from the university ,John took it for him scanning over the contents of the letter

"holy shit! I need to get my shit together, while I've been sitting on my ass you went ahead and got into a fancy school."

"Well I mean you've always wanted to go to New York, why not just go with me. Your and adult who can make your own decisions in life" he said while adding a few more well timed lines to the song.

"That's not a entirely bad idea, I mean I have no reason not to" john partially throughout aloud

"If you went you could hen go to school there to, you do seem to have a liking towards literacy and all that." Paul tried to convince

" I do enjoy me some writing" John said" I would like to get a better job, fetching coffee for people in our local paper is quite boring and not a great way to spend my life"

"Well the its settled, come with me johnny" Paul sang out

John looked in his eyes and simply said

"Your wish is my command" when he said this he was met with a fierce blush spread across Paul's face as he cleared his throat.

So the two stayed at the park for hours talking and catching up in person, and eating some chips john had brought with him. Talking about their half baked plan of moving to New York for school and work, imagining the places they could go and explore together. Paul especially wanted to go to central park and see it in person.

Eventually Paul and John ventured off the bench to Johns car, which Paul was surprised at. Opening the door and getting in John started up the engine as they drove of, the sun having started to go down causing a warm glow to encompass everything, it especially looking good on the soft features of Paul's face as he looked out the window at the passing landmarks. The soft music coming out of the radio giving a soft and peaceful vibe inside of the car as Paul happily chatted to John as they just drove around . they drove until the sun had long since set, leaving a vast array of stars to sprinkle the dark sky, the stars looking like small holes punched into the inky darkness.

Paul looked in confusion at john as the car pulled up a old dirt road going uphill, until he realized where they were going. There were going up unto the spot they had been on almost two years ago when they first parted ways, curled up into each other. The day after that had been difficult for Paul, having never been with anyone like that. It was so confusing for him, he knew he wasn't queer but having been like that with John was like nothing before. It wasn't acceptable to be a homosexual, you could face incarceration, hormone therapy or even worse. but somehow that didn't seem to matter he realized when he read one of the letters from John, saying "sometimes love is more than just holding hands"

John slowly let the car pull to a stop when it reached the top of the hill leaving the radio on but turning off the lights. They stayed like that for a long while, still talking about anything that came to mind. At some point they had moved to the back seat bench, it having dropped a couple of degrees causing some shivers to erupt from Paul's still form. John looked at him and noticed how cold he looked when he remembered the gift he'd bought him. Reaching behind the seats john picket up a brown paper bag and presented it to him

"Figured I better give you gift now, seeing as a forgot to earlier"

Paul gingerly took the bag from him and peeked inside of his, his face lighting up as he realized what it was

"oh god I love it" Paul exclaimed as he pulled out the huge scarf wrapping one end around his neck, scooting over closer to John he wrapped the other end around Johns neck causing the older man to chuckle at Paul's somewhat childish action. As he wrapped it around john's neck he noted how close they were, enjoying the sound of John slaughter. Paul still sat there very close to john, their thighs touching on the bench seat, as they sat there looking into each others eyes. The mood had changed dramatically now, it being more intense, the intensity being noted by the two men

Despite the fact that it was illegal, John gently brought one of his calloused hands to Paul's soft porcelain cheek gently cupping it. Paul didn't move away from the obvious romantic action. John assuming that this was consent, gently he moved in and let his thin chapped lips graze against Paul's plumper pink ones. For the first few seconds Paul just sat there not moving, before becoming use to the feel of john's lips on his, letting his lips part a bit as he kissed back letting their lips fit together more comfortably . John let his other spare hand come to rest on Paul's hip the other still caressing his face, Paul having become more comfortable let one of his hands come to johns neck and the other to his rougher cheek, feeling the coarse texture of his stubble. They stopped for a moment, lips disconnecting for some air, before Paul leaned in again to press his lips back against john's. this continued fro a few more moments, Soft little moans coming out of each others mouths as the kiss grew more passionate and heated.

separating for some more air again Paul groaned, breath sounding short

"we shouldn't be doing this Johnny"

smirking John muttered against Paul's lips

"oh shush up Macca" and then he went back in, smashing his lips against Paul's plump swollen ones.

This time feeling more adventurous when Johns lips pressed against his, Paul kept his lips separate, giving Johns tongue access to his mouth. Gently nibbling on Johns bottom lip while the older mans tongue swept around his mouth from his pink slippery tongue to his white glistening teeth. They had become more aggressive, John becoming more dominant, pushing Paul onto his back against the leather seats, John positioned between his legs still attacking Paul's mouth with his. The younger man beneath John letting out a moan into Johns mouth, John letting his lips start to trail down Paul's neck gently sucking it, tasting the salty sweat that had started to from on the younger neck. This causing Paul to let out another breathy moan, calling out Johns name as he left red and purple marks against the pale neck.

By now John was very aware of the tightness in his trousers, needing some of the pain away he started to rut against Paul's clothed equally hard groin. This resulted in a wanton moan to escape Paul's mouth, Johns lips still leaving marks against his pale warm skin. His continued to thrusts his hips into Paul's, giving pleasurable waves of pleasure to result from the action, their breathy moans filling up the no humid atmosphere of the car.

"John love, if you keep this up ill cum" Paul moaned out, thrusting his hips up to meet the pace of Johns.

"well do you want to?'' John asked

"oh god yes"

So John started to rub their crotches together more erratically causing the much needed friction. it went on for a bit longer until he felt Paul start to come to the end under him, back arching back as he let out a moan, John leaning down to capture his lips and moan. John soon followed suit reaching his conclusion and effectively soiling his boxers, covering them in ejaculate.

they would have stayed in that back seat if it haven't been for some random car to drive up the old dirt road. John shot up to look out the back window at the incoming car, Paul looking him in the eye as they hurried out the backseat and into the front . John in the driver set and Paul in the passenger, starting up the car John looked at his ruffled looking partner, his lips swollen, love bits left on his neck and shirt unbuttoned. He'd never looked better. John gave him a reassuring smile before leaning over and giving him on last peck on the lips, before gently whispering against his lips

"You don't have to say it back, but I love you"


	12. Chapter 12

After the incident in the back of the car the two had drove back to Paul's house, quietly sneaking in and down the steps to Paul's room where they continued where they left off. Laying on the bed slowly nipping at each others lips, hugging and cuddling. It was odd, kissing a man, he had been more assertive and rougher than a girl, it was just different, not bad different, it was good. it was just unusual for the man.

They'd fallen asleep like that, basically in each others arms, well more like John spooning Paul from behind, gently tracing circles on Paul's smooth stomach under his shirt. The last time john had been here they'd done the classic position where one is in the different direction, one of their heads at the foot of the bed. His room had changed very little, he had more records this time round. He had newer records now, some rock ones from around America decorated his shelf. It was more tidy to, somehow as Paul had gotten older he'd become more of a clean freak. But on his desk were what looked to be hundreds of letters and papers, on the way into the room John had caught a glimpse at them realizing they were the letters John had handwritten, he never pressed the topic though.

The next morning had been a lot like the first time around too, Mary had greeted him with open arms squeezing him tightly as she explained how John was almost all Paul ever talked about, and how she basically knew him like the back of her hand because of Paul. Jim, Paul's father having this time joined in on the conversation, asking john about how his life was going. John explained he was considering going to New York for school and work, not being entirely satisfied with his currents job fetching coffees. Mary was surprised at this but excited, hastily talking about how Paul was going too and shed be happy if john went with him so Paul wouldn't be alone in the big city.

And it went like that for a long while, John would drive up to visit Paul and his family, enjoying their homey presence. It was probably an unconsciousness need to have a family, all he really had was his mother. So when he would go he'd not only hang around with Paul but his sister Angela who he had met the first time, finding solace in her company, he would like to make dinner with Mary or even gossip with Paul's two other sisters. He just all around liked to be around the McCartney's. He found he did have a lot in common with Angela. They were both very cynical, lonely people, longing for company with someone like each other. She was very intelligent and observant, Paul didn't seem to mind that John and Angela hung around each other a lot. He once told john that he was just happy that they got along, being that Angela was his favorite sibling. She was just a different kind of person, she didn't really seem to fit in this time, being that she was so accepting, refused to be a housewife, she was just so refreshingly independent without being ignorant. No wonder John liked her.

When John told his mother of his intentions to move away, study and work in New York, she was to put it lightly, devastated. She couldn't imagine not being around her son as much as she was use to any more. It developed into another fight, her main argument being she didn't think john knew what he was getting himself into, thinking that he was getting ahead of himself. But he'd already made up his mind, heck had even started saving up money and writing his application form to get into the literature school. He wouldn't be living on campus, him and Paul through well timed phone calls already deciding to rent an flat together, splitting the rent between the two. The situation between him and Paul having started to get more intense, the letters being sent between the two slowly becoming more sappy letters, john trying to swoon Paul with his wit and charm, trying to write to him till he fell. Sometimes when on the phone, John would have pre-written and practiced sentences that he had wrote on a piece of paper nearby so he wouldn't mess anything up.

The months withered away, spring turning to summer and fall after that. John had wrote to Paul, explaining how he luckily gotten accepted, he didn't think he would have been able to if he hadn't been able to pull a few strings with his old high school teachers, at least the ones that liked him and remembered him. So now here it was, john with enough money saved up, the trunk of his car loaded with his belongings and a teary eyed mother hugging him as if he was going of to war. John had recently called up the landlord making sure he actually did have a place to stay there, the place was probably going to be run down and in general a piece of shit disgusting apartment. But with a can do attitude and some elbow grease he was determined he could fix it up after a good scrubbing down.

So, giving his teary eyed mother one last hug holding her tight giving one last look to his red bricked childhood home, he got into his car, starting the engine and driving north to Minnesota to get Paul, they'd decided to do a good ol' American road trip. Also because plane tickets were expensive. His mother standing on the curb watching her only son drive of for who knows how long a slight breeze blowing her hair in the wind. that would be the last time he saw her.

It had taken a few hours to drive up to Paul like always, stopping to get gas and a snack of greasy fries and a coke at some dinner. When he got there he was met with a bawling teary eyed Mary hugging her son for dear life, while the rest of the family stood by and watched biding him goodbye. That is except Angela, she was standing there by the door of the family home, her long skirt flowing with the breeze ,she walked over barefoot to the car and knocked on the driver side window motioning for him to roll down the window, so John did.

"Hey there stranger"

"Look im not good at this kind of stuff but, I know about you and Paul" she said keeping her voice quite.

"You don't have to say anything just listen, I need you to be good for him. He's way too kind and gentle for this world. He needs someone to be there for him, protect him and care for him. I know my little brother like I know my own mind and you will never find someone as kind" she said trying to think of how to finish "he's absolutely smitten, when your letters would come it would light up his day. You mean so much more than you realize to him. What you two have gotten involved with is illegal and dangerous, and I dont think you'll find people who understand your relationship. So please protect him and be careful, i'd hate to see some hateful homophobic asshole do something to you or him" she finished

John sat there looking at her with shocked face, the words she spoke were scary but reassuring. Of course Paul and John had had this conversation before, many many times, always coming to the same conclusion that it would never be easy for them. They would always face the constant fear of discrimination, incarceration, they'd never be able to walk Down the street together or have kids or any of the normal things people got to do. They had to be discreet, try to act as straight as physically possible, even if Paul technically was, constantly pressing that he wasn't gay, he just casually dappled. That was fine by john, just as long as he didn't turn back on their plans or broke it off with him. He only hoped he could keep Angela's promise to keep him safe, he didn't deserve that kind of hate and pain. No one really did. So looking back up at Angela he said

"How do you know?"

"Just from watching, the way you two talk, the way you look at each other. And because people who are just friends dont write letters together saying quote, "oh my sweet Paul how i've longed for your touch" she teased at the end, but still keeping the air of seriousness somehow. "Just please care for him"

" alright I promise "

She smiled at him briefly looking behind her to the family bidding goodbye.

" you should've seen his face the moment your first letter arrived" she smiled

" I said be careful with that one, he'll do what it takes to survive , looking back on it I don't think I was right, seeing you know, ready to leave the nest and taking the first steps to the rest of you life. It's not where I thought you'd end up, but i did suspect you'd drag Paul along with the wild ride" she explained putting her red hair up in a ponytail

" thanks Angela"John said trying to hide how he'd gotten emotional over their brief talk, he opening the car door and getting out.

" come here" he said opening his arms, Angela hugging him, clearly going to be missing her friend.

" I'll miss you ya' jock" she muttered into his shoulder holding her friend tightly.

" I'll miss you to Angie" he said parting from her and leading her onto the lawn were the rest of the family was.

John met Paul's dad with a handshake and a bone crushing hug from Mary, Paul's older brothers loudly howling out greetings seeing how most of the family liked John, and Paul standing there with a few bags and leather suitcases with him on the ground pooling at his feet.it was a beautiful hot evening, the golden sunlight casting a warm glow on everything and creating dark deep inky shadows. The warm glow reflecting on the emerald leaves gently swaying in the wind, the sound of them rustling overhead the family and john. Even though it was so hot, Paul was wearing the red and white scarf john had gifted him, it draped around his neck and shoulders, falling past his knees. At least he wasn't wearing that god awful cat sweater, instead opting for a modest t-shirt and jeans with leather sandals.

They all talked for some time on the lawn until John decided to move it along a bit, reaching down to help Paul with his bags, loading them into the trunk with john's in the back of the car and the back seat. The family still standing on the lawn watching as Paul got into the car with john and driving away for a indeterminable amount of time, the car slowly disappearing down a corner down the street setting off for the long drive. To be honest they could have planed better, leaving sooner seeing as how it was already a little past 6:00 pm, meaning they'd have to drive through the night or at the very least until they pulled of to the side of the road when both of them were too tired to drive. As they started to drive off , john looked in the rear view mirror to make sure none of the family members were in view, since no one was there he looked to the passenger seat to his left at Paul gently grabbing his hand and pressing a quick peck to the lips. A smile dancing across his lips at the small romantic gesture, nothing remotely sexual about the peck, just out of a mutual feeling of love.

Still holding his hand, Paul scooted across the bench seat closer to john so their thighs were touching, letting his dark head of hair to fall on johns shoulder

"I'm glad we're going together"

"Well i'm glad to luv" john smiled kissing him on he head lightly, causing Paul so let another recurring smile gravitate onto his face.

"Angela knows"

"Yeah i kind of thought she would, she's quite observant" Paul muttered dozing off into his partner's side

It took them nearly 30 hrs to get to New York, taking several breaks so they could sleep, get gas, eat or just piss around when they found cool stuff on the side of the road. Like that one time they found roadkill and Paul made john pull over so they hey could dig a hole and give the mangled animal a proper burial. They didn't have a shovel to Paul had started to dig a hole with his bare hands but then started to complain about how it hurt, john then despite wanting to do anything other than digging a hole with his bare hands, got down on his knees and finished digging. Since they had no spare box or anything they wrapped the bloody mess in one of john's shirts, gently setting it in the hole. Paul was crying the whole time as he paid his respects to the animal. John didn't say anything about being one shirtless, seeing how it made Paul happier.

So it went on like that, listening to the radio as they cruised across the country, john drove it mostly, seeing how Paul didn't like driving. Instead the younger opted for pointing at the cows they drove past, or sitting curled up in the seat with his knees to his chest reading john's most prized possession. His copy of "Alice in Wonderland". Humming to himself as some Elvis song came on the radio from years ago, quietly singing the lyrics under his breath as he flipped the old worn out yellowed pages. It was nice, just the two of them, sharing the same memories, beds, songs and secrets. John wasn't quite sure how this was going to play out for them, he hoped good as long as they kept it quiet, it was 1963 after all and there was only small pockets of people who accepted what they were attempting to do. Despite all odds being against the pair, none of that seemed to matter anyways, they were blinded in the throes of young love and the american dream that if you can dream it you can be it, Or something like that.


	13. Chapter 13

It was about 1:30 in the afternoon when they arrived at their destination, and it was everything John had ever imagined. People from all walks of life wandered the streets, bright yellow taxis honking constantly at nothing, thick accents screaming at each other. But somehow amidst all the chaos it all seemed to co-exist together almost like a puzzle, a stupid and messed up puzzle, but all the pieces still complimented and fit together. But that wasn't what captured johns sight most, it was the utter look of amazement on Paul's face as he was pressed up against the glass window looking at everything, bright eyes scanning the surroundings in disbelief st how different it was from his home. To be honest john was amazed too, it was insane here, it was everything he wanted, it didn't matter that their apartment was probably going to be dump. It didn't matter they didn't know anyone here, all that mattered was they made it. They knew what they wanted and went after the dream that had quickly become a reality.

The car moved slowly weaving in and out of street until john found the address to the flat, taking the key out of his pocket, he'd been given three keys from the landlord in the mail. It probably wasn't the best way to give the keys put he wasn't complaining,anything that kept john away from the creep was a blessing. Paul bounded out the car stretching his arms above his head and arching his back kind of like how a cat would. John followed suit, stepping out and cracking his neck glad to be out of the stuffy car, looking over the roof of the car to see Paul and grinning. Looking back at the apartment complex with a look of happiness, the building didn't look too much differently from his town house he grew up in. the exterior being made up of stacked red bricks and grey concrete columns, a small stairway leading up into the main entrance, which had one big staircase like in "Breakfast at Tiffany's". Actually, the building looked almost exactly like that on the inside, a few doors on each level branching into each apartment, the top being the penthouse, which wasn't even that impressive considering the state of the rest of the building.

Johns and Paul's place was on the fourth floor, which now thinking about it was going to be annoying carrying all their stuff up the stairs. Waking up to a slightly damaged wood door with a big number 12 on it, john took the gold key and shoved it in the stiff lock turning the squeaky keyhole, being rewarded with a click in confirmation that the door was now unlocked. He pushed it open and it wasn't as bad as he thought, looking around it twas a big open room painted a neutral gray with a few rough patches, it only had doorways no doors actually. So as they walked around the open space john looked into the doorway on the right which lead into a small room no bigger than a bathroom that immediately lead into the bedroom, a pretty decent space, there as a nice window on the left wall letting a natural light fill the room. He stepped out of the bedroom to back into the main sitting room to explore some more. To the left of the room was a small kitchen and a bathroom connected to the kitchen. In the kitchen was Paul opening each of the cupboard doors searching them for any unwanted pests. John quietly walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around Paul's slim midsection pressing a sloppy kiss to his cheek resulting in a giggle.

"Well the place could use some fixing up as expected, but other than that I like it" john announced.

"agreed , an hey look we even have plumbing" the younger said slipping out of johns arms, bounding over to the kitchen sink that was next to a cream white fridge and turning it on letting the clear water flow out the curved pipe

"Well i'll be damned, here I though he were going to have to shit in a bucket" he joked earning himself a scowl from the younger and a playful slap on the arm.

"Here come see the bedroom" john urged, leading him back through the empty sitting room, through the small adjoining room and into the only bedroom. It was a one room flat after all.

Paul stepped in first walking over to the widow and looking down at the people below. The only thing in the bedroom was a small lamp plugged into the wall sitting on the floor in the corner by a small closet in the wall. The entire space smelled of stale dust and drywall, small dust particles being seen in the rays of light from the window, but nothing a little air fresheners couldn't fix.

So deciding they'd been well acquainted with the space, they started the arduous process of moving their belongings from the car onto the flat, sweating, swearing and grumbling the whole time, being annoyed at how many times they had to go up and down the stairs. But with enough patience, time and a can do attitude the duo managed to get everything up into their place, dropping everything on the floor. John reached into one of his pockets and pulled out one of the keys giving it to Paul, deciding that since it was still early in the afternoon they locked up the door and walked back down the creaky main halls stairs back down to the car to get a few things from the store. The number one priority being a bed. Even if the apartment had come with a bed, or even a bed frame there was no way either of them would have been caught dead sleeping on it. Who knows what could have happened on the hypothetical bed. So driving around their neighborhood the found a place that sold mattresses and other bed related things. So not really giving a shit they grabbed the cheapest queen size mattress strapped it very poorly to the top of the car, along side of the mattress they also grabbed a couple pillows and two quilts to tangle themselves with in bed.

While they were out they soon realized they had no basic food with them, so on the way home they stopped at some department store, to find easy food like eggs, butter,bread,crackers and a few bananas and apples. Mainly because they could only really see themselves ordering out for their meals for the next little while. that's why they decided on the simple things for food.

Once they got home it must have been a sight to see, two boys barely legal adults with a mattress balanced atop their heads struggling to carry it up the stairs. They had dropped it a couple of times being that it was so heavy and john sucked at balancing stuff. Somehow they managed to get it through the door and the doorways into the bedroom, lazily throwing it on the floor and dishearteningly kicking it to the corner of the room, throwing the pillows and blankets on the makeshift bed too.

After setting up the bed the two got to work setting up what they could,seeing as they had no cupboards,tables, cutlery or anything of the sort. So that really only left them able to plug a radio and a turntable on the floor in the corner of the living room, and putting their clothes into the closet. Paul had brought a few novelty mugs which he was able to put in the kitchen cupboards, those being the few things in them.

While john was putting the few groceries away he looked to a small spot next the the fridge and noticed something,

"Hey Macca did you know we have a phone"

"No I didn't!" came the slightly muffled response from the bedroom

"Well we do"

"That's great dear" Paul shouted back

John reached down to the phone dialing the familiar number if his home, intending to call his mother.

It took only a few rings before the painfully familiar voice answered

"hello , who's this" came his mother

"Hey mom, it's john just wanted to ring in and let you know me and Paul made it safely here."

"That's great john"she said, not a drop happiness reaching her irritated tone.

Sighing john replied

"Look mom, I know your not happy I came here but I had to leave the nest eventually right?, I mean come on so far im doing fine"

"John you've only been there a day" she replied tiredly before pulling the receiver away to cough in her hand, on the verge of snapping at her son.

"and it's been a pretty successful day if I do say so myself"

"That's bullshit john!"she snapped

"What the hell mum, why have you been so agitated lately, especially to me , you've been supporting nothing I choose to do just because you don't like the fact that i'm living my life and making my own choices" he shouted at her instantly getting defensive.

"I don't like the fact that you've run off with some queer pervert john" she screamed back, by now Paul had come into the kitchen noticing johns distress

"I know about you two and it's disgusting, the letters you two wrote each other mean come on who were you trying to fool john! when I would tell you you could love anyone,I meant a girl, I thought I raised you better john" she bellowed hate, disdain and disappointment oozing from her voice.

Taking a moment to comprehend what she was saying, john shot back with just as much anger.

"Okay listen here I dont care if you insult me, disown me or burn any evidence of my association with you but you have no right to insult Paul like that. You've never even met him so how can you judge him! Because so far he's been more supportive of me than you have in the last few months, so until you fucking stop spewing your bullshite on my boyfriend dont fucking bother calling" he spat back at her slamming the phone down denying her the privilege to respond, resting his elbows in the counter with his head in his hands.

He felt Paul come up behind him and wrap his arms around johns waist from behind, comforting john feeling him relax into his touch.

"You called me your boyfriend" Paul mumbled into John back lightning the mood, john turned around in Paul"s arms and hugged him properly letting his heavy head fall into Paul"s neck breathing a large gulp of the familiar scent.

"Well it's what you are aren't you?" voice raw from screaming and the emotional drain it had on him.

Paul looked up at him with his big brown eyes,

"yeah , I guess I am" leaning up and pecking him on the lips, intentionally not asking why he walked in on john screaming at his mother, knowing full well what or more so who it was about. This actually made john feel better knowing that he didn't have to explain to the younger about why he was now in the category of "strained relationship with mother".

\--------------

I'm trash for Hamilton quotes so sorry


	14. Chapter 14

So gradually they got some furnishings for the flat, things like a desk and pair of chairs now sitting by the window in the kitchen, even though it had been there for less then a day it was already cluttered with johns and Paul's things, the wood desk overlooking the busy street down below letting a warm glow enter the kitchen and cascade delicate shadows . Almost directly split down the middle was a invisible line, on one side stray unfinished song lyrics and sheet music spreading out like an eagles wings, and on Johns side his typewriter with books, and New York times papers. They even had separate table lamps, Paul's being one that looked much like the one from the Pixar animations, johns being more like a fluorescent office one. It actually was an office one, he stole it of his bosses desk before quit his old job, speaking about jobs johns would have to get off his ass soon find a job soon, Paul did too.

Other than the desk not much more decorated the apartment except for a ratty old couch they found and a houseplant sitting on the floor that one of their neighbors had given them as a housewarming gift, john was no expert but he suspected the plant was actually a weed from an alleyway reeking of cheap beer and vomit. That seems like something the odd woman would do. As the days wore Paul and John quickly realized she probably wasn't the brightest Lilly in the flower bed, but at least she wasn't a complete crazy person.

John and Paul still had about a month and a half until the new term started for their respective schools, so deciding there still was time they both set out, scouring through the "help wanted" sections in papers, and looking through shop windows for any help wanted signs. They actually did not have trouble finding applications, it's just they didn't want to be stuck doing something atrocious that sheltered young men like them didn't want to do. So Paul ended up settling on just a regular part time job at a cafe serving drinks and sandwiches to the paying customer at lunch and dinner. John ended up working as a bartender, as it turned out he was very bad at his job, drinking on the job and yelling at coworkers, but at least he was good at the actual description of the job, making and serving drinks to pissed assholes. Paul started work earlier, around 4:00 in the afternoon and going to around eleven for the late shift, John started later than him at 7:00 going till 2:00 when the bars usually closed. Being that they both had at most 4 classes a day they did have the liberty of a flexible schedule.

After a month john still hadn't talked to his mother after she made it painfully clear what she thought of him, instead him and Paul only really stayed in contact with Paul's family, speaking to Angela most commonly. which john was fine by, he loved Paul's family, Mary being a very warm and welcoming presence, and Angela being a very accepting person and fully supportive of her brothers idiot boyfriend. However the silence had been broken one Saturday afternoon when the phone rang from the kitchen, john had been out of the house getting some ink refills for is typewriter, it being in use way more now that school had started. So that left Paul home alone listening to the radio while working on some project for class sitting at their desk. Looking at the phone he wiped his left hand covered in pen ink on his pants and answered the phone

"hello? "

" Is this Mr. John Lennon" a smooth voice asked

"Uh no i'm his friend he's out at the moment, but I can take a message"

"Yes, please if you would, I was his mother's Doctor at west central Hospital, please pass on my condolences" the Doctor said.

"Condolences" Paul asked confused

"His mother passed away from leukemia last night, we unfortunately didn't catch her condition early enough. She was hospitalized a few weeks ago on complaints of fatigue, a loss of weight and a high fever, please tell Mr Lennon that she passed peacefully in her sleep" he finished

"Thank you for calling , i'm sure you did everything within your power to help her and for that i'm grateful,, i'm sure John will be too" Paul numbly responded sounding oddly calm, John had been on rocky grounds with his late mother had caused a lot of stress for the man, especially since they had been so close for most of john's life. So he went back to site down after hanging up, trying to come up with a away to break the news to the older man. fearing how bad john would take it considering one of the last things he said to her was something along the lines of "fuck you".

Silently listening to the clock on the wall tick by he waited for maybe an hour before he heard the sound of the old brass lock rattling, the loud voice of john echoing out

"Honey i'm home"

Setting his bags down and walking up into the kitchen, his bare feet making soft patting sounds on the vacant floor, both of them mutually deciding a carpet would be to much work to put in and maintain .

"You got a phone call" Paul spoke up nervously not really being sure of how to continue, trying to dance around the violent emotions john could become infested by.

noticing how Paul wasn't jumping up and showering him in affection, he tentatively asked "Who was it then?"

 

"I'm sorry John" Paul said trying to avoid the words about to fall from his tongue,feeling like a homewrecker mainly because he did partially feel responsible for John and his late mothers fighting, he felt he was the main problem, even if john had repeatedly assured him he wasn't.

"Come on son your starting to worry me" john said pulling the other unoccupied cheap wooden chair to sit in from of paul.

Taking a deep breath Paul started "A hospital called, your mother was admitted a few weeks ago and later diagnosed with leukemia. They called to tell you that she passed on last night in her sleep, they didn't catch it soon enough to do any treatments that could have gotten rid of it" Paul said reaching forward to grasp on of Johns shaking hands clasping them in his trying to give any form of comfort he could, all the while wincing at how he could have explained it a tad better, the almost blunt response said in one breathe being out of place.

"Oh" was all John could utter, sitting with a far of look upon his face before getting up with glazed over eyes and stumbling through the sitting room then into the bedroom, falling limply onto the mattress, Paul trailing behind him and sitting gently on the bed next to him pulling his head onto his denim clad lap. Gently pulling his earlobe like so many times before and saying.

"Im sorry jock"

Paul's remorse falling on deaf ears"The last thing I said to her was fuck you" he mournfully mumbled, " what the fuck happened, we were so close" voice sounding strained and lost ".. not once had I ever felt like I needed to hide anything, or lie to her. I just don't understand why she changed so drastically" he finished. The only comfort Paul felt he could give was stroking his soft chestnut hair, threading it through his delicate fingers and brushing them against his forehead. They sat there, Paul listening to his partners ramblings and teary sorrow filled cries, his heart breaking at the thought of him not being able to help him anymore.

But the world doesn't stop for any one heartbreak, so they had to move on, John heading to work a few hours later and Paul serving the sandwiches to the people who left him crappy tips. The next day they still went to class and they still marched on with their lives, falling asleep in the mess of blankets and pillows they called bed. It was hard for John, mainly because he couldn't get it out of his mind how the last time he spoke to her he was screaming at her, yelling profanities at her and anything that came to mind. He just couldn't understand how after how much they cared for each other, she couldn't accept him for wanting his own life, how she couldn't accept that that life was going to have Paul by his side. It was insane how someone who thought you knew could have such hateful and strong opinions you never knew about, if he did know he would have been more careful, less careless in his courtship to Paul. But most of all, even tho towards the end, they were at each others throats, he wished he could have been by her side while she lay on that pure white bed, slowly feeling the life slip away from her weak body, he wished she wasn't alone when she passed. Nobody deserved that.

So they just tried their best working on sprucing up their place, making it more homely and less run down with what their budget could afford. They worked almost religiously on their schoolwork, which had resulted in actually quite good grades, for john that had been a first, which he would proudly display to Paul like a small child showing their report card to their parents. They had started to find some good company, a few good friends from school and work to surround themselves in, going to each others apartments and bars (of which Paul wasn't legal age to get into, but still went anyway) to hang out and to develop a vibrant thriving social life.

So they went on living a fast paced life for the next four years. By that time Paul had graduated and started a partly paid-apprenticeship in Manhattan working on instrument restoration and maintenance. It was actually very exciting considering Paul was freshly out of school, having just received his degree and already laying a strong foundation for his future career. John on the other hand, about a year ago had written an article criticizing the state of the crumbling infrastructure, for some reason even though the article was on possibly the most boring,mind numbing topic imaginable, it had gotten noticed. A month after it being published for a school project, he'd received a call from an editor from the "New York Times" asking to meet up with him. After Meeting up with the robust posh dressed man in a small coffee shop, john had a job writing for the paper albeit a rather small and non-consequential position but still a job. So to put it lightly, their dreams were now becoming a reality, making it all the more worth moving there.

But things soon started to change fast, like when John was a child, people were being drafted across the sea to fight in a war that no one wanted in "defense" of their dying nation. It had spawned a huge moment of love not war throughout the country, and in no other place more prominent that New York. The streets became flooded with bright colours, acid, cannabis and LSD. people with baggy shirts long hair and peace symbols decorating their bodied flourished in the cultural capital of the world. And since John and Paul were two young men and would give anything a try at least once, they jumped head first into the moment, a bowl of grass sitting on their table, acid sugar cubes sitting next to a kettle. John and a few others had started to write articles that landed on the front pages in direct opposition against the ongoing war, spreading the message of peace and love, criticizing politicians being a particular favorite of John's. By this time John had grown out his hair to a little below his shoulders that were often decorated with messy looking this braids and beads mixed in with his loose hair, and then Paul for some reason grew a mustache, which was attempt to look more manly just made him look more adorable, but other than that his hair had still been shorter than Johns still resting just above his shoulders.

The mood in the office had changed considerably, from the uptight work setting in the early 60's it had changes to where the lower downs in the food chains regularly smoked and drank on the job, shit talking the government and the editors of the times. No one really cared though, it was just a fun place to be and despite the fact that they barely got any real work done as a whole, john had quickly moved up in the ranks, being able to write and cover more sensitive subjects. Those like the Vietnam war that the whole peace movement spawned around, calling out government officials for failing to stop the ongoing conflict.

One day however, in November, a few months before the summer of love, Paul had gotten a call from his parents asking if he'd come home for Christmas, having not been able to get time off the past few years to make it. This year however they were able to stitch together vacation days to make the family get together, Paul had already informed Mary that John would be coming along, explaining how he really didn't have anyone to spend Christmas with except for himself. Mary was ecstatic when she heard John was coming, because as they had all learned, she loved John like her own.

More recently Paul had started driving more, under pressure from john to get more comfortable behind the wheel. so While driving rather carefully through the snow Paul had said something that john had honestly not thought about for a long time.

" I think we should tell them about us"

This got a worried expression from john

"yeah well last time someone found out they died so..." he trailed off.

Paul looked over at him with a annoyed look on his face, nose scrunched up.

"Okay first off, she didn't die because she found out, and second of all Angela already knows and she seems fine with it"

" in know I just don't want to alienate you from your family, i mean come on there freaking awesome, it'd kill m not being able to see Mary again." john said having flashbacks of how it ended with his own mother, but while thinking about Paul's mother and his determination to be loved bu her.

"Yeah I know they're awesome, and believe me I lived with them for eighteen years, i'm like 80% sure they'll be fine with it" Paul said while picking at his well maintained hands, while they waited at a stop sign.

"I still don't know Paul, I mean, they're like family to me too, I don't want to have to stop communicating with them"

"Please John, I hate lying to them, do you know how many times mom has asked if I have a girlfriend? Like a crap ton. And we've been together for awhile now and i'm fairly certain we won't be breaking up any time soon, and besides, don't they have the right to know what's going on in my life, especially when its something as important like you? And even if they don't like it they'll come around to it eventually" Paul reasoned, John looking at him with a look of defeat realizing that he had a point there.

"Alright fine, but the very earliest Sunday so in case we get kicked out we'll have had a day or two to rest"

"thank you hun, your the best" Paul breathed, leaning over quickly and placing a peck on johns rough stubble.

John responded with a grunt and by placing his right arm on the back of the seat behind Paul's head.


	15. Chapter 15

After their conversation, it had taken another few hours, breaking into dusk before they reached the family home, several cars and trucks sitting in front of the house from all the brothers and sister coming home for the holidays. John was quite excited to see Angela again, he saw a lot of himself in her and vise versa, both being very cynical as deep down something was probably deeply broken, a huge difference from Macca. A small crack that they'd been born with, slowly growing bigger and more jagged, all inner goodness slowly seeping away as they grew, eventually leaving them as a sad old man and woman. Any goodness they been born with fading away, that hollowness eventually pushing away all they loved, family friends, partners and work associates. Of course this worried both of them, mainly rooted for the same reason; John not wanting to hurt or push away Paul and for Angela not wanting John to mess up whatever he had with Paul, leaving anything they could have had in a pile of ruins.

When the car pulled up behind a bright red beetle a house or two down, John and Paul sat there for a moment, John reaching over a tightly gripping Paul's pale delicate hand in his. Looking at him with a worried look decorating his face, Paul matching the look, he lightly leaned over and gave him a reassuring kiss on his this chapped lips, john bringing a hand to the back of the brunettes head to deepen it. Max bringing his free hand dot johns unshaven cheek, gently rubbing circles with his thumb letting out a small moan before separating and letting their foreheads touch for a moment. With their foreheads touching john leaned away, and said;

"So let's get this shit show on the road huh?" a grin sweeping across his face, and stepping out of the car and grabbing a few of their bags, walking up the sidewalk, the sun having long since fallen, street lights illuminating the house rand roads. knocking on the door They were greeted with the warm smile of Mary's aging face, an apron on and spatula in one hand, before tightly enveloping her son and John in a bone crushing hug and saying,

"Oh Paulie it's been way too long since I've seen you" pulling back she looked at John

"And you too John, but what's this" she said pulling on his long hair questioning the fashion. "And look it seems you've rubbed off on Paul" she continued pulling on Paul's longer hair "but as long as you are happy and safe i'm fine with it, now tell me in person what you two've been up ta recently" she said ushering the pair in yelling at two of Paul's brothers to take their bags to his old room, which was now a guest room.

Dinner was a loud affair, all the family and even a few extended aunts and uncles sitting around the large wooden table. John fitting in instantly with the setting talking loudly to Angela who was stationed across from him, devouring her salad and almost shouting back with a full mouth. People down the table shouting and hollering to each other while Paul sat to his left politely talking to Mary, showing no interest in the loud atmosphere or any concern in any of the ensuing chaos. After dinner, the large majority of the family sat in the warm lit living room drinking wine and coke while playing shenanigans . The only ones that weren't in the living room were John, Paul and Angela who volunteered to clean up the dishes, and wash them.

Standing in the kitchen Paul washed, John dried and Angela put them away falling into a quiet conversation, keeping it quiet so any prying eyes wouldn't hear anything, the topic of conversation about telling the family about the relationship.

" we're going to tell mum, and dad in a few days" Paul gently said over his shoulder towards Angela while he stood over the sink, elbow deep in soapy water.

"Oh shit," she turned around from putting a mug in the counter "do you think they'll take it good?"

Paul responded with " well I hope so, where are we going to stay if they don't ?" earning a small chuckle from john still drying a plate.

" they won't kick you out, they'd probably just passive aggressively respond to you, but I don't see that happening, they love you an john too much" Angela voiced.

"Aww they wuv us"john mussed, falling like a maiden into Angela's arms her playing along by saying.

" of course my lady" she joked, the two of them then falling into a fast waltz, john still the lady while Paul stood to the side giggling into his hand leaning against the counter, clearly amused by his sister and boyfriends behavior.

After they finished cleaning up, john and Paul retired to the guest room that use to be the room they would share in their youth, finding their bags pushed into the corner thanks to his brothers. Paul's had put a little effort into actually putting some pajamas on, while John, being John with no shame stripped down into his birthday suit and crawled into bed, naked as the day he was born.

"I hope you know your not getting 'any' tonight" Paul drawled sitting at the new vanity mirror stationed in the room, putting a moisturizer on his face and brushing his hair, something john constantly poked fun at him for.

" I haven't the faintest idea of what your talking about my sweet" the nude man called snuggling into the heavy quit on the bed.

Shaking his head with a smile, Paul finished up his nightly skin care routine and sauntered over into the queen sized bed, like always they told Mary they'd share a bed because there weren't enough for everyone to have a bed to themselves. So Paul got under the sheets and snuggled up into john, placing his dark head of hair onto johns hairless chest, gently drawing invisible portraits with his finger along johns chest listening to the steady beat of his heart. he barley had had eyes closed for a minuet before john slowly let his hand start to trail up and down Paul's thighs and hips, gently tickling him with his feather light toughs, sending goosebumps up Paul's slightly smaller frame. whispering into Paul's ear john whispered

"are you sure about me not getting 'any' tonight?"

smiling Paul let john continue his ministrations up and down his body, un-shamefully liking what john was doing despite the fact the statement he had made not 15 minutes ago. after a few seconds of Paul weighing the options he replied

"only if you stay quiet"

"me? last time I checked you were the screamer" John playfully shot back, while crawling up on top of Paul a placing a deep kiss onto his lips.

Running his tongue along Paul's lower lip looking for access, Paul's lips parted letting their wet slippery tongue's dance in each others mouths, tasting each other for the thousandth time. John bringing one of his hands up to Paul"s face from his hips, going along his jawline and chest. separating for a moment john reached down to Paul's midsection and pulled his shirt over his head, exposing his pale chest with the exception of a few older love bites around his neck and tummy.

Going back down John attacked Paul's neck, drawing out a quiet moan from his swollen lips.

"hush luv, dont want to wake up one of your brothers"

Paul's response was another light moan as John bit down, leaving some saliva on his neck and blowing a few raspberries. moving his hands down he cupped Paul through his flimsy pajama pants, earning him another moan from the younger, this time louder and more lust filled. as John sucked along his neck he continued to rub and stroke Paul's hardening member, Paul bucking up into Johns calloused talented hands. moving from his neck, Johns trailed down his chest, catching one of his pink nipples in between his teeth and sucking, Paul's hands coming up to thread into johns long hair. While john sucked on one nub he kneaded the other with his free hand, the other one still gently massaging Paul's manhood,the younger breathy moans filling the room, johns erect penis standing against his stomach seeping pre-cum as he sat hunched over Paul.

While still working on Paul"s nipples, Johns hands moved to the waistband of his bottoms, simultaneously pulling his briefs and pants down, sliding them off and throwing them over his freckle spotted shoulder, Paul's erection bouncing against his stomach after being freed from its confines . Moving down abandoning the pink erect nubs johns trailed wet kisses down Paul's stomach, naval and finally reached his weeping erection, wrapping his thin lips around the head. Paul's head was thrown back as a silent moan escaped his mouth at the wet and warm feeling of johns lips and mouth enveloped the head, lapping up the pre-cum. using his hands, john stroked the base of his boyfriends dick and balls while his mouth worked up and down, tongue running along the bottom of the shaft. once he was satisfied with his work, john got off of Paul and reached down into one of the bags by the bed and pulled out lube and a condom. Taking the lid of the small half empty bottle of lube, he slicked up two fingers, placing the condom and bottle off to the side within reaching distance. Reaching down he gently pushed the two fingers inside of Paul, letting him adjust to the feeling before pushing them in and out lightly while scissoring his tight hole. carefully he added another finger and continued stretching his lover, making sure he was comfortable.

once he felt Paul was stretched enough he wiped his hands of on the bed sheets, reaching over he took the condom out of its packaging, sliding it over his erection and giving it a few good pumps with his fist. leaning back over Paul, he looked in his eyes before leaning down and kissing him, while kissing, John lined the head of his member up with Paul's hole and gently pushed it in. He captured Paul's moan with his mouth still kissing him he pushed farther in until he felt his entire length being encompassed by Paul's tight warmth. separating from the kiss john let his head fall in between Paul's neck and shoulder, the smell of his sweat filling his nostrils as he waited for Paul's ok to continue.

After about 30 seconds he heard Paul say " go John" and as soon as he said that john started to gently pull out, rocking back in all the way. soon they built up a steady Rhythm, Paul's legs having wrapped around john slim waist, john trying to find that one spot he knew would make the younger come undone.

suddenly Paul's head was thrown back as a loud moan came out, his body contracting as john knew he hit the younger prostate. re-adjusting and grabbing onto Paul's thighs, he started to slam back into his ass hitting that spot every time, making Paul moan and wither underneath him. john deciding wisely to bring a hand from the thighs to Paul's mouth to muffle his wanton moans that had become much to loud, loud enough to wake some family members.

he could tell Paul was close, so speeding up his thrusts he felt his own orgasm approaching fast, with one hand on Paul's moth he reached down and once again grabbed Paul's erection, matching his stroked with his thrusts. soon Paul started to spill his cum all over his stomach and chest, his orgasm ridden body clenching around john as he thrust in one last time unloading himself into the condom and finishing with one last moan. Pulling out an rolling over and off of Paul, john took the condom off an threw it on the floor to deal with later, reaching off the bed he grabbed a random article of clothing and wiped Paul off. john looked back to his right to where Paul lay, catching his breath. gently john pulled Paul onto his chest while pulling the blanket on top of them he heard Paul mutter from his position on his chest,

"I love you"

"I love ya to Macca" john whispered back placing a kiss onto Paul's head before drifting off with the comforting weight of Paul laying partially on him.


	16. Chapter 16

The next day they hadn't done much, laying in bed for most of the day until dinner where it was almost identical to the night before, however this time it was Mary instead of Angela cleaning up this time. It had started to go downhill fast, when she started asking about if Paul had found a girlfriend yet, from under his fringe Paul met Johns almond eyes silently pleading she'd stop, having that he was petrified of telling her, now that the time was nearing ahead of scheduled. But when he looked at John for a little while longer he mouthed to him "tell her". With wide eyes he looked back at his mother who was waiting for an answer, wanting to know if he had a lady friend.

"Well sort of" he stuttered not sure how to break it lightly, he was never very good at these sort of things.

Raising an eyebrow at the odd answer she asked "so, you have your eye on someone?"

Seeing how Paul was getting more stressed, john came up to stand beside him putting him at ease while grabbing a few plates and drying them.

"Well we've been dating for a while now" Paul responded, underneath the mask he was becoming a frazzled mess, his heart dropping down to his stomach.

She let out an audible gasp before urging " well go on boy tell me about her"

Paul made a quick look at john beside him before he gave him a reassuring smile, knowing that john was feeling about the same as him.

"Well they have a loudmouth and is usually the loudest in the room, never able to recognize that some things don't have to be said. They always speak their mind and won't take shit from anyone. Even though they put on this big tough act and try to look like a bad-ass they're very kind underneath, believing in peace and love and would never intentionally hurt anyone. They can be a disgusting pig, specifically going out of there way to piss me off...... Christ some days I want to strangle them with the shit they do, but I even through all the bad i'll always love him." Paul spoke intentionally emphasizing the 'him" in the last sentence.

Looking to his left he saw Mary look between him and john, he could practically see the gears turning in her head, coming to the realization of the nature between the two younger men's relationship, a knowing almost amused look across her face. Her hazel eyes shot down to the action of john grasping Paul's hand in his tightly. Finally she broke the tense silence

"Well it's not like no one saw it coming," she voiced, a smile spreading across her face as she stood there, wrapping her arms around her sons frame. Paul sunk into her loving familiar embrace while john stood away watching the mother and son, smile on his face as he subconsciously missed the presence Julia, the wound still tender.

"I'm happy for you Paulie" Mary said while separating from him and looking him in the eyes, telling him she still adored him and accepted him.

Looking to john she said,

"Its okay john, it's fine, just treat him right yeah?"

"You sound like Angie" he chuckled wiping a few stray tears that had slipped out, not liking the sight of his distressed boyfriend's crying and along with the memories of his late mother.

" im assuming she knows" Mary questioned, being answered with a nod from Paul "well im proud of you two , not many people have the same bravery as you, just make sure you're careful. You never know what kind of people are out there" she said, her mother hen coming out

"What about dad? And what about the boys and the girls" Paul asked the thought of having to tell the rest of the family dawning on him.

"If you want I can break it to them individually. Maybe if they hear it from me and see how im okay with it, they'll be more open to you and John" Mary gently suggested releasing the two from her homely arms.

Looking to Paul, John responded this time "yeah that'd be great, thanks Mary"

So by the end of the week everyone knew, and for the most part were mostly okay with it. The only reason one of them weren't entirely supportive was because they thought Paul could do better than john (which john thought he definitely could). It helped that they were all raised on the belief that all men are created equal, the McCartney's were not super religious, having mostly abandoned Jim's catholic background, but this belief that they were all equal was ingrained in their family values. His dad was a little mystified, not fully understanding how you could love someone of the same gender, but because he loved his son dearly he kept these thoughts to himself, not wanting to upset the gentle boy and is hooligan boyfriend. It was a out of place opinion for the time, making the relationship all the more dangerous for the pair, and the family.

So Christmas came and went, John got a new typewriter from Angela, which must have cost a fortune, and Paul got a violin from her, john could already feel the migraines coming from hearing the screeching noises of a Novice violinist.

Recently Paul had started to fiddle around with a violin at work and shared his interest with Angela over the phone awhile back, he could already play a slew of instruments so learning another would be easy. John just wasn't looking forward to it because Paul was still learning, and knew how bad beginners sounded.

The rest of the family got clothes or momentous to keep on the walls or bookshelf's, being that there was only adults in the house except for two of Paul's nieces.

Towards the end of the week Angela pulled john outside for a smoke in the bone chilling frosty winter air.

"I'm getting married" she started looking down at the engagement ring delicately placed on her ring finger

With a gobsmacked face he asked

"Shit I didn't know you were dating anyone Angie, why didn't you say anything sooner?"

"It only happened a week ago, I didn't see the point saying anything sooner than this" with a sigh she continued, letting john light a cigarette for her, placing it between her rouge lips and breathing in the nicotine, holding it for a moment the puffing it out " he's not as brilliant as you, I don't think anyone is, but he's as close as I'll ever get"

"The weddings in summer" Angela informed, silence fell for a moment after that

" oh, uh ok" john stammered looking at her through slightly hooded eyes, smoke leaving his thin lips as he said this.

"I'll miss you" she stated

Looking at her with suspicious eyes he said " what do you mean"

" you don't understand john, when you get married you change, I don't think ill be in touch with you as much as before, and somehow I feel that will make my life a little less bright" she whispered, casually stepping closer to him.

"Well I wouldn't know" he spoke with knives in his voice " and you should be grateful you do get to get married and have kids, don't take that for granted cause' it sounds like you're not aware of how lucky you are"

A look of regret doused her face " shit john I didn't mean- I - I'm sorry I wasn't thinking" she said realizing that marriage and kids was probably a sore subject for him, since there was little chance at all that he would ever embark on that right.

Taking a breath of the smoke and letting it out she re-stated" Look john, I am happy i'm getting married, i'm just scared" she turned to look at him, "I don't know if i really do love him or not, i'm scared because I settled. I didn't get the person I wanted, but I can't have the man I want because it would never happen and even if it did I could never live with myself if i hurt my little brother by stealing his love."

A look of horror crossed john's face as he looked at Angela , he had no idea what to say or do, there wasn't really a guide for him to follow for when your boyfriends sister confesses her love to you. So he stood there like an idiot for a few moments processing what she said, cigarette burning between his fingers as he pieced together what he could say to defuse the situation.

he didn't get to say anything though because suddenly her soft red lips came smashing against his, knocking him off guard. he had no idea what to do except stand there and let it happen, to much in shock to do anything, it felt so wrong. eventually however she separated tentatively, before looking john in is eyes through her thick lashes. John took a hesitant step away from her, running a hand through his hair and wiping the smudged lipstick from his hair he croaked,

"so um, let's just keep this between us alright..... no one needs to know"

Looking at him with sudden heartbroken but understanding eyes as she heard what he said, wishing that maybe he would have felt the same, but of course he didn't. He loved Paul and she couldn't bear to break his fragile heart like that, feeling like an idiot at the stupid stunt shed just pulled.

"Ok, i'm sorry john, for putting that on you"

" it's fine Angie, look I have to go, i'll catch you later" he said dropping the smoke on the ground and crushing it with his heel, leaving the cold winter air and rejoining the family in the living room, leaving her alone outside.

After the tense conversation outside with Angela john joined Paul in the guest room where he had retired to, going through with his nightly routine, their packed bags sitting in the corner, being that they were leaving in the morning. Standing in the doorway he stood there looking at Paul sitting at the vanity mirror, after a moment he made eye contact with him in the mirror a smile breaking out onto his face. Turning around in his seat Paul asked

" what were you an Angie talkin' bout outside?"forcing a smile on, john came over so sit on the bed by the chair.

" turns out she's gettin married" john responded, a small pool of guilt at the pit of his stomach for not telling the full extent of his and Angela's talk.

"oh shit, she told you and not me? That's blatant favoritism" Paul playfully accused, falling from his stool to the bed pulling john down with him as he curled up against his side.

"You have no idea luv" john played back pressing a chaste kiss to Paul's messy hair, responding by pulling on his earlobe with his nimble fingers like so many times before. John slipping of his clothes he pulled himself and Paul into more of comfortable position in the bed, got under the covers and fell into a restful sleep with Paul lying peacefully by his side.


	17. Chapter 17

After that night the couple left the family, bidding goodbye to the McCartney's, the parting with Angela being tense for john but luckily no one else picked up on the tension between the two. So not an hour later Paul and john were back on the road to New York with a their bags, John driving the majority of the way because Paul was still scared of driving, being scared from driving there, only driving maybe two or three times on the way back when John would get too tired. It took a bit longer than normal to get home this time because the roads were really bad and icy so John drove about 40 mph under the speed limit most of the trip to avoid any unwanted collisions.

When they got home, they settled back into their usual routine of going to work, hanging out with friends and spending time together, just in general they went on with their lives. 1967 passed quickly and so did the years that followed, each new year being started with the huge party at the center of New York. Drunk people lining the streets and all in one voice counted down the time to the new year while confetti rained down upon them. Paul and John always went to these parties, being attracted to the thriving booming nightclubs and long nights of meeting new people, these pleasantries were well ingrained into the couples lives by now.

during those times john still of course, openly shit talked people through his columns. most of theses columns spawned from break room chatter among John and his co-workers, clad in loose ties un-tucked button up shirts and trousers. Styrofoam cups of black bitter coffee clasped in their ink covered fingers, cigarettes and joints in their other hand. the break room usually encased in a blue hue from the smoke, as loud jolly voices laugh through the room.

John, was positioned leading against the granite counter tops sipping on his now Luke-warm coffee, listening to Daryl and ken, his work friends chatter. their talk focusing on how Daryl had just recently come back from his honeymoon in France with the ever so lovely Marianne. Marianne was a nice young thing, blond hair, pouty lips, a nice girl to settle down with and have a family. John had met her a few years back at a office Christmas party when Daryl brought her to show off to his co-workers, arm slung around her slim waist while he got sloshed.

"yeah those french now how to party" Daryl said in response to something ken had uttered. "hey john?"

looking up from the dark bitter ocean of coffee "oh yeah, faisons la fête and all that Jazz" he said ending with some flashy hand movements.

"speaking off significant others, hows your piece of ass fair'in?" ken Joked in reference to Paul, john wasn't exactly secretive of his sexual preference.

chuckling he responded " okay, first off don't call Paul my "piece off ass" second of all hes doing good.... over the holidays a little while back we actually went to visit his family"

"oh yeah how was that?"

"that shit was wack, so he has this sister right, and she tried to tack a bite outta me" john said waving his hands.

eyes wide, Ken lightheartedly replied " oh yeah? you just making this shit up or did this actually happen?'' he finished while taking a drag from his cigarette.

"no im not makin' this up, i swear she pounced on me! tryin' ta scoop me up and all, and id like to point out shes a taken women, shes getting married" john complained to his friends.

"your the only man i know that would complain about being pounced on by a girl johnny boy" Daryl joked while clapping john on the back, ken breaking out into giggles

"ey fuck off" john replied back before chugging the rest of his coffee and finishing is fag.

"well m'off boys, i got another four hours of sitting in a cubical starring out the window pretending to work" john said before slithering out the smoke filled break room, the sound of ken saying to Daryl " Lucky bastard, getting a cube next to the window"

After a few hours of mindlessly staring out the window john found it was probably safe to head home now, without the threat of getting yelled at by his editor, collecting his things and putting them into his leather satchel he walked out the office with a skip to his step to the elevator. Hitting the ground floor button he let the doors close as a soft jazzy music filled the metal box, only lasting a minute as he reached the ground floor and made his way out to the car, a yellow parking ticket stuck under the windshield wiper glaring at him. But as john had now become accustom to the new Yorker state of mind he just swore at it, crumpled it into a ball and tossed it behind him, not caring that he still had to pay fro the ticket. he slid into the leather driver seat and turned on the ignition, humming along with the song that came from the radio, the afternoon sun radiating of the building windows casting the city in a soft warm glow. a good afternoon for a walk in central park.

eventually though he pulled onto his street and parked the car, it was about 5:45 so Paul should be home by now john thought with a small smile gracing his lips, it always fascinated him at how the thought of Macca always brought a smile to his thin lips, somehow brightening his days without fail.

getting out of his car he locked the door an made his way up the many flight of stair in their complex, quietly he got out his keys and unlocked the loud brass knob trying to push the door open carefully as he heard paul moving what sounded like pots and pans in the kitchen. creeping in he set shut the door, removed his shoes and set his bag on the couch, the aroma of boiling pasta and tomato sauce flooded the apartment, which meant spaghetti for dinner. looking in the kitchen and saw Paul huddled over the stove stiring a pot, creeping up behind him john wrapped his arms around pauls waist, rightfully scarring the shit out of the younger.

he practically jumped out of johns arms yelping "fuck john! you scared the shit outta me you dick!" turning around he pressed a annoyed kiss to johns stubble cheek. "sometimes I hate you"

"i know babe"

later that night after dinner they fell into each others arms and sleep soon fell over them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> insert shameless self promotion : https://www.tumblr.com/blog/t-shirtliberator


	18. Chapter 18

“John did you take the trash out yet?’” Paul yelled from the bathtub where he was reading a book shuffling chips in his mouth submerged in warm water.

John who was in the kitchen heard him mainly because the apartment had no doors excluding the front door. He was sitting at the table in there typing up a piece on some boring community event, To be honest John didn't even really know, he was just writing what a reporter gave him. It also didn't help that he was getting a light high from the joint hanging out his mouth, puffing away at the little thing creating a faint haze in the small kitchen illuminated by the sun streaming in through the window. Elvis’s king creole record played in the background, His smooth voice adding the relaxed atmosphere of the Saturday afternoon.

“Yes of course dear” John hollered back to Paul

“Bullshit no you didn't” 

Taking a drag of the joint John called back “then why’d you ask dear?’

“Cause I thought you'd surprise me by doing something I asked of you”

Getting up from his seat, abandoning his half assed attempt at work John wandered into the bathroom where his boyfriend was still in the tub harassing him, feet overhanging on the edge with a book still cradled in his hands

“Hey come on I've done plenty for you babe” he smirked at Paul, earning him an amused look

“Like what” the younger said from the tub, putting his book to the side so the could look at John better

Raising his eyebrow John replied, screwing his face up in pleasure “ oh oh oh yeeessss Johnny put it in!”

“JOHN!” Paul laughed slightly embarrassed even though it was just the two of them.

While Paul was laughing John was busy pulling his shirt over his head and pulling his pants off his long seemingly hairless legs. John was fast enough that when the slid into the soapy water with him it made Paul jump, startled at not noticing Johns ability to get nude so fast.

It wasn't long after John got in the tub though that he started to bother Paul by using his foot to run up and down the youngers thighs, causing the hair to stand up on his arms that were exposed to the air.

Leaning against the wall of the tub John was met with such a strong overwhelming wave of love and adoration to this man, it never quite made sense to John how Paul ended up with him. Paul was just to perfect that it made no logical sense to him, even now as the bothered Paul by disturbing his nice relaxing bath and running his Foot up and down his pale thighs.

“I love you John” Paul spoke cutting into the silence that had filled the room

“I love yeh to macca”

“ Good now pass the joint”

Chuckling John took it out from his lips and passed it over to Paul who in turn took a long drag from the bud, plump lips wrapped around the drug. While Paul did this John took his foot higher up Paul’s thigh to his groin, gently running his foot up and down Paul’s length making the younger man groin while still looking at the hypnotic sight of Paul taking a drag.

“Johhnny, what’er you doing” he half moaned around the joint.

“Nothin”

After that things quickly escalated, the bathtub having been quickly abandon in place of the bed where the pair got busy. Paul on his back legs wrapped around Johns waist while the older man pounded into him, Paul making the most erotic sounds which just ended up fueling Johns lust more. His head cradled in Paul’s neck where he was able to taste the skin and get overwhelming whiffs of Paul's intoxicating scent.

When they were done they lay on the bed spooning,legs tangled together with Paul behind John and his arm wrapped around his midsection holding his hand loosely, whilst nuzzling Johns damp hair at the base of his neck. He drew small circles on the back of John's hand with his thumb, John bringing their joint hands up to his lips to kiss Paul’s knuckles.

“that trash probably smells like shit by now” John muttered  
“Pppfft johnny!” Paul laughed from behind him laughing into the back of John’s neck pulling him tighter.

 

 

 

“Hey John there's someone here asking for you” ken, one of John's work pal’s said while leaning over his cubicle, coffee in one hand and cigarette in the other.

John who was on the phone talking to someone pulled the phone away from his head, hand on the end preventing the other from hearing “The fuck are you talking bout?” 

“Man I dont know there's just some guy in the front asking for you” the older responded shrugging then walking away to probably go light a joint in the break room.

John watched him walk away for a moment, a look of confusion on his face before ending the conversation on the phone and getting up from his desk. Walking through the office it was quite normal, sounds of typewriters clattering away while phones simultaneously rang in the distance, some sleazy guy in a button up shirt with sweat stains was leaning up against one of the secretary's desk casually trying to show off his non-existent muscles. Separating the actual office and the main check in area for that floor was a large foggy glass wall, there was no door but a large doorway mainly because not having a door was just more convenient. On the other side of the glass was wooden chairs acting as a waiting room, in said waiting room was none other than Taylor, one of Snowballs goons hunched over his knees chewing on his short grimey nails. John's heart stopped at the sight of him sitting there, in the waiting room of his work, dread starting to pool at the bottom of his stomach seeing as he had told snowball he would have the money tonight. What stressed him most though was here was this clearly suspicious man asking for him sitting in the waiting room, colleagues walking by and giving him weird looks, John couldn't have anyone finding out his little secret.

When Taylor saw John walking over the stood up and welcomed him “Ah hey man good to see you”

Instead of taking the hand that was offered to him John said in a low voice trying to block the nosy secretary’s view of them “what the fuck are you doing here? I told him I was going to have the money tonight, you have no business coming here Taylor”

A that Taylor kind of just gave him an amused look and said “come with me for a second Johnny boy”

John looked at him confused before following after Taylor to the stairwell where the lead him, the nosy women sitting at the front desk looking at them leave over her tiny specs balanced on her long pointy nose.

Taylor took him up a flight or two putting some distance between them and John’s office floor, standing in the stairwell Taylor turned to him and said “ look John, that was a week ago when you said you’d have the money’ at this John tried to intervene but was hushed by the larger stronger man in front of him “ look...I see this all the time, you get caught up in life and start to forget shit from the drugs and things just slip past you….” a feeling of relief started to wash over John, him thinking Taylor would sympathize with him and let him go until Taylor finished “But that’s not my problem, what my problem is is how my knuckles are gonna be sore after this”

“Wha-” John never finished because he was cut off by the fist connecting with his jaw sending him crashing against the concrete wall behind him, head connecting with the wall. He tried to find his footing to stabilize himself but couldn't due to Taylor bringing one of his fists to Johns gut effectively winding him forcing his body forwards and closer in to Taylor's blows. At some point john fell to the ground which didn't end the larger mans onslaught, instead of punches and right hooks it was now John on the floor bleeding with Taylor kicked at Johns ribs. 

When it finally ended John was in a fetal position on the floor, blood pouring out of a cut on his lips. “Have the money by tomorrow John” and with that Taylor walked back down the stairs while lighting a cigarette humming a tune under his breath, the low drawl echoing through the stairwell. John from his position laying on the floor watched with tired eyes as he walked away, he found himself humming along quietly to the song Taylor was humming, an old one John had heard on the streets growing up as he would sit on the steps leading to his home, portable radio by his side as he pet his cat. The other kids running up and down the street playing and roughhousing, enjoying the sun beating down on them and the sound of the green trees swaying in the wind and the cars in the distance on the more busy roads and neighborhoods.   
All of this was a Far Cry the where he was now, bleeding alone in a stairwell and not even able to remember a simple deadline. No doubt he would be worse off if it weren't for Paul, Paul who was constantly looking after him and caring for him even when he stumbled home high or drunk spewing hate and slurs at his partner.

John lay there for a moment longer until the decided to get up, it was bad enough Taylor showed up to his work he didn't need someone stumbling across his broken body and connecting the dots if they hadn't already. Getting up was a struggle, his chest heaved and his limbs felt like lead, John was suddenly very well away of all his surrounding, the faint sound of office life being heard through the doors leading to the different levels, the buzzing of the bright fluorescent lights above and the pain coursing through his body.

It took him a long time to get to his car, limping down the stairs looking utterly pitiful, wheezing and coughing; The cut on his lips just starting to clot. When John was finally able to make it to the car through the back doors he sat in the driver's seat and started to cry, hunched over the steering wheel as his body trembled in sync with his sobs.

 

 

 

“Paul what are you doing” Paul's colleague and friend Jen said with laughter in her voice.

“Nothin” he response before continuing what he was doing.

“No- Paul look at this” she laughed again, collapsing against his side in the bus they were on, grabbing his arm and pointing back down at the doodles in his book

“Excuse me but i'm making some fuckin art here” Paul giggled adding some lines to the doodle of a very much X-rated duck.

They were on their way home from work, they usually bused home together since they lived so close to each other, which Paul loved, they really were good friends which was no surprise seeing as they were so touchy with each other. 

Jen snuggled up to his side while his arm rested on the rest behind her head, she was well aware of John and their relationship, hell she even came to dinner every once in awhile, didn't stop her being close to Paul though. She Loved them both dearly, she was at their house all the time, eating their food and everything that came along with someone being at your house so often. 

While they were on the bus they continued their banter until finally Paul's stop came up, the stop was a street or so away from his apartment which was extremely lucky of Paul seeing as bus routes wasn't on his or John’s mind when they were looking for a place to stay way back when . Getting off the bus he bid Jen a good day and thanked the bus driver, it was just turning to fall now being that the leaves on the small city trees were starting to turn orange and yellow, in the morning’s a cold nip had started to develop, casting a thin layer of frost on any vegetation that dared to grow in the city. Walking across the street the saw John’s car sitting in its usual spot, which was weird because John usually got home at around 5:30 or so and it was only 3:40, thinking nothing of it other than Maybe John got off work early- which was annoying because John could have picked him up from work.

Stuffing his hands into his pocket Paul fished his key out of his pocket in his jeans, fumbling with it for a moment after the put the key in upside down for the millionth time. finally he got the old beat door open and stepped in closing the door with his foot behind him calling out to John he was home. Setting his bag down on the couch the called out to John again, frown forming on his face when John didn't answer, so walking around the home the looked for his stray boyfriend. Paul looked in the kitchen the living room and the bedroom until finally looking in the bathroom where the saw John laying in the bathtub submerged in now room temperature water asleep. What immediately caught the youngers attention was the bruising and cuts on Johns body and face, so rushing over Paul started shaking johns boney shoulder bringing him to consciousness.  
From the tub John looked at him with wide now awake eyes, the wheels turning in his head trying to process what was happening in that moment, it took a moment for John to realize that yes Paul was here in the bathroom with him in his time of need.

“Oh….hey Macca” a sheepish smile sneaking its way onto Johns face, very aware of the condition Paul found John in

Paul knelt down next to him hand still on his shoulder trying to match the small smile on John's face “Hi johnny I- you're home early”

Looking down at his now pruney hands John answered back with breaking voice “yeah I am…..Just….as you might be able to tell something came up”

Looking at him the best Paul could guess what happened was John had gotten mugged or jumped or something along those lines, it's not unheard of in these parts on New York hell it's not even the first time it's happened to one of them and with the increasing crime rates it's entirely plausible. The last time something like this happened it really embarrassed John even if he didn't explicitly say so, although he didn't need to tell him, Paul could read him like an open book. Even though they did share responsibilities equally and were both men, it was impossible to deny John fell into more of the dominant role in their relationship and the fact that something like a mugging still happened to him? Of course the wouldn't want to talk about it…..which is exactly why Paul didn't press him about it, and why they were now laying on the couch together, John's head cradled into the youngers neck. Johns body wrapped around Paul's smaller frame while the small television set in the corner played something in black and white, a bag of frozen peas pressed up against John’s now purple swollen jaw. Paul running his hands through John’s shaggy hair massaging his scalp, every now and then kissing his temple and whispering sweet little things to John while the dozed off against Paul's neck. 

“I love you Johnny” Paul whispered one last time before John fell asleep against him.


End file.
